Time to Go.

[PECOAE]

for all i know, all quartz has ceased...
i don't see hear feel...
for all i know, it's just me
surroundings become... surreal

for all I know,
it’s time to go -
better get out of here

sitting, staring, thoughtful waiting,
the intangible approaches...
bit by devilish miniscule bit,
the - surrounding space, encloses

for all I know,
it’s time to go -
better get out of here.

imagination ... reality
the barrier no longer exists,
I am all, and all is me
I’m sick of having these temper tantrum fits

For all I know,
its time to go -
Better get out of here.

[pizzapizzapie]

Time to Go.

for all i know, all quartz has ceased
i don't see hear feel
for all i know, it's just me
surroundings become surreal
Nice verse. I like your rhyming. 2nd and 4th line seem a bit short though.

for all I know,
it’s time to go
better get out of here
Short, maybe a bit to short, but I like it.

sitting staring thoughtful waiting
the intangible approaches
bit by devilish miniscule bit
the surrounding space encloses
The 1st line is strange. I think you missed the comma ey?
I like the word playing though and the rhymes!

for all I know,
it’s time to go
better get out of here

imagination reality
the barrier no longer exists
I am all and all is me
I’m sick of having these temper tantrum fits

4th line is not flowing, but it's still good imagery-speaking.
1st line might be to short aswell, but the imagery is great.


For all I know,
its time to go
Better get out of here

Overall this was an interesting song. I like you imagery, short and simple but effective. Personally, I like this poem/song/whatever-you-want-to-call-it really much. To give you some constructive critique, work on the length of the sentences for an even better flow!
8/10! Great work

[PECOAE]

Thanks guy.

I kind of draw out some of the shorter passages.

Any other criticism?

[kevbud187]

I definatley love your choice of words. You only use what is most important, but don't let that eliminate repeation. Nioce job

[PECOAE]

Thanks, I tried to go for the abstract conveyance of time.

[PECOAE]

Anyone else?!

[Dugan]

for all i know, all quartz has ceased
i don't see hear feel
for all i know, it's just me
surroundings become surreal


Nice.


for all I know,
it’s time to go
better get out of here

sitting staring thoughtful waiting
the intangible approaches
bit by devilish miniscule bit
the surrounding space encloses


Wow... Quick switch to imagery.

Not quite sure about the bit by devilish miniscule bit. Can't quite catch the flow of it. You probably just hear something I dont here. Put in punctuation, so the reader knows how to flow the words.


for all I know,
it’s time to go
better get out of here

imagination reality
the barrier no longer exists
I am all and all is me
I’m sick of having these temper tantrum fits


The last line seems out of place.


For all I know,
its time to go
Better get out of here

Good overall. Throw some punctionation in there. I would love to see how a couple of those lines are supposed to flow.

[PECOAE]

There, it's been... what do you say - punctumacated.