chorus for a saturday

[cure_for_cancer17]

A broken lady winging her way down the high street
The wind is howling and the rain is stuck on repeat
The lads are drunk again, and it’s closing time
She doesn’t waste a second, is next to fall in line

She’s just, she’s just a woman (to you)
But really she’s only a girl
I think I know the difference
Between the coal and the pearl

In the drunken Saturday evening sun
I know I’m always second so I’m chasing the one
It’s classic and fantastic to be out of my head
But somedays I don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed

[Surf]

do not come on here one day, and decide that you should mass post a culmination of everything you have written

this.

[cure_for_cancer17]

my bad. apologies.

[El_Goodo]

She’s just, she’s just a woman (to you)
But really she’s only a girl
I think I know the difference
Between the coal and the pearl

Kind of reminds me of Bob Dylan's Just Like A Woman, except for the line But really she's only a girl is just terrible, it sounds akward, even But she's only a girl would sound better.

[cure_for_cancer17]

cool. i was writing to a tune in my head, it made sense at the time. i might change it if a few other people think it sucks

[sportsfan4427]

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A broken lady winging her way down the high street
The wind is howling and the rain is stuck on repeat
The lads are drunk again, and it’s closing time
She doesn’t waste a second, is next to fall in line

that's actually pretty good i really like the second line it's clever and made me smile

She’s just, she’s just a woman (to you)
But really she’s only a girl
I think I know the difference
Between the coal and the pearl

someone already mentioned the Bob Dylanness in this part

In the drunken Saturday evening sun
I know I’m always second so I’m chasing the one
It’s classic and fantastic to be out of my head
But somedays I don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed

i don't get this part...sorry

could u give mine a look it's asking if it's cliche or not i'd really like your thoughts

[cure_for_cancer17]

more crit is welcome, few more and i'll have enough to solidly improve it. cheers.