under the streetlight

[(H@mm3R-0f-Th3-G0D$)]

Under The Street Light:
dont know if i should put this to music,let me get some crits about it and give me your recommendations
CHORUS
first time i saw her
she was sitting under the streetlight
and i could see the tears in her eyes

i started talking to her
opened my mouth to speak
she said close your eyes
and ill tell you about last week

she didnt have much to say
but i could read it in her eyes
her heart was broken
because all she heard were lies

CHORUS

He told her that he loved her
and that he would never leave
she said "he was perfect
but he wasnt the one for me"

i told her grab my hand
as i wiped away her tears
i told her not to be afraid
taht you have nothing to fear

CHORUS

i told her hes not the one for her
but i just might be
i took her in my car and
i took her home with me

CHORUS 2:

we've been together
ever since that night
and whenever we talk we
know that feelings just right

[usuck]

Under The Street Light:
dont know if i should put this to music,let me get some crits about it and give me your recommendations
CHORUS
first time i saw her
she was sitting under the streetlight
and i could see the tears in her eyes

i started talking to her
opened my mouth to speak
she said close your eyes
and ill tell you about last week
i really like it up to this point, nothing that needs changing.

she didnt have much to say
but i could read it in her eyes
her heart was broken
because all she heard were lies
this is kind of cliche. maybe try saying this in different words.

CHORUS

He told her that he loved her
and that he would never leave
she said "he was perfect
but he wasnt the one for me"
this is also cliche.

i told her grab my hand
as i wiped away her tears
i told her not to be afraid
taht you have nothing to fear
also cliche, this is actually the most cliche part of the song. try making the phrasing more original

CHORUS

i told her hes not the one for her
but i just might be
i took her in my car and
i took her home with me
this part is just okay.

CHORUS 2:

we've been together
ever since that night
and whenever we talk we
know that feelings just right
this part doesn't really seem like lyrics. i mean how would you sing this part? it doesn't fit.
the whole thing has a few grammatical errors, you might want to fix those. overall an alright song, it's not bad. 4/10, could be better if you make a few changes