Malinger

[Syncratic]

"Don't you shake you head,
don't you turn your nose up at me
only to rise above your own stink.
Classify, rectify, echelons
built upon illusion.

Bleed from cuts of martyrdom,
you salt these wounds to garner
sympathetic sheep to
your cause of hate, of fear, syncranity.

Deem yourself superworthy of
failed attempts to mount
the highest horse.
An elaborate, doctored existance,
difficulty grasping an abscence
of your own orbit.

Manifesting redundant excuses
for an uninhibited fantasy.
Spit upon your plebians,
accost your inferiors,
yet cower in your corners,
at the first hint of nonconformity.

Abandon commonality,
fellow man becomes a slave.
Self-degradation,
condemnation....."

And that's all I've got at the moment, it's a work-in-progress.

Any and all constructive crit is welcome.

[slowgunner]

The pictures that this evokes are not pretty, but they are rather powerful.I guess i don't like it because it is not "pretty"and spiritually it whines.

[Syncratic]

The pictures that this evokes are not pretty, but they are rather powerful.I guess i don't like it because it is not "pretty"and spiritually it whines.

I don't follow about the 'whines' part.

[slowgunner]

Opinions are like ****** you know. The song evokes emotions in me that remind me of when I whine about things instead of doing something. Others may get a different take on this. That's what it did too me.

[kmarcher87]

It's definatly proving a powerful point here. There's obviously alot of emotion, which I like.

Really the only thing I didn't like was it was a bit too wordy. Perhaps that's all preference though, to me it was like "wait lemme remember what that word means again." Maybe I just have a petite vocabulary though. :confused:

[Syncratic]

Really the only thing I didn't like was it was a bit too wordy. Perhaps that's all preference though, to me it was like "wait lemme remember what that word means again." Maybe I just have a petite vocabulary though.

I tend to do that a lot, it's my Achillies' Heel.