"Weight and Sea"

[Disco Donkey]

To sit in appreciation,
As the sun radiates a warm affection
For the solar solace it places on its perfection

Is carnivorous, eating up the burn
That creeps under a thin layer of skin

To stay buried beneath
A thousand lambasted lies called “credence”
Warrants a poorly drawn inhalation of obedience

But we all wait
To develop a more cancerous love
Until the radiation swallows the sting
While we degrade
The lightning bolt who tries to prove
That it, too, can be a subtle thing

One bright orb stays hidden in nuance
While one sharp streak shatters this night
And we all weep a thousand raindrops
Because we can’t see it

[DeadReligion]

Perfect imagery. However, I have no idea what you're talking about, and the rhyme is extremely annoying. I liked the "solar solace" alliteration. So, I'd clear the meaning up a bit more, and maybe improve on the rhyme scheme too.

[Guitar Slayer]

I liked it

[DeadReligion]

^ Oh yeah, that's real helpful. Nice job with the punctuation too.

[RollerQueen]

Chuck Norris has nothing on the Hardy Boys (the ones that solved mysteries).

Inspired by the summer solstice? The double meaning of the title (oh, homophones!) is kind of neat. As a piece, it's a cluster-eff. From what I'm getting, it's about sitting in the sun with the threat of skin cancer looming over every tan. It reminds me of some news story that I saw last year about how you can see the signs of sun damage on people by using a black light, and that sunblock is very important, calling to mind that Baz Luhrman song. I really like that bit about the lightning bolt. That's the beacon that I'm seeing here. The last stanza kind of kills it, though, but I like the odd subject matter and take on it. It just needs more focus.

Yeah, "Flower Girl" is my latest if you're bored. If not, you don't have to return crit.