How can i execute this idea? Multiple meanings to a verse.... Jumbled...

[ljump12]

OK so i wrote something with the idea of letting the person read it however they want... And while I still think its a good idea; i know i dropped the ball bigtime on the execution... so how can i make this go over smooth, and easy to understand without losing what i was going for...
NOTE: This may fall more under the area of poetry than songwriting...

Well take the third verse...
I fell in too deep;
so much deeper than
I wanted you to be close
but not quite like
this wasn't supposed to
End up like it
did you want something more? Right now it seems kind of jumbled... I want people to be able to read as....
"I fell in too deep; so much deeper than i wanted"
or...
"I wamted you to be close"

I want theyre to be options as to how to how to read this?

another example....

"This wasn't supposed to end up like it did"
"Did you want something more"

I could rewrite the verse as

I fell in too deep;
so much deeper than I wanted
I wanted you to be close
but not quite like this
this wasn't supposed to
End up like it did
did you want something more?
but that just becomes repetative, and its no fun... so please help me out!

[drumass04]

Shakespeare does a lot of this, usually it's a case of dramatic irony. For example in Romeo & Juliet, Juliet is speaking to her mother at cross purposes. Saying something like this;

I shall never be satisfied
With Romeo, until I behold him; dead
is my poor heart for a kinsman vexed.

There are two ways this could be interpreted;

I shall not be satisfied until I see Romeo dead, my heart aches because of Tybalt's death.

I shall not be satisfied, until I hold Romeo again. Dead is my heart for the troubles Romeo suffers.

I think that perhaps you could use something like this, to talk at cross purposes. Even if it isn't with contrasting meanings.

Here, I'll give it a shot;

I fell in too deep
so much deeper than
I wanted; you
to be close.
But not quite like this;
wasn't supposed to
End up like it.
Did you want something more?

I think that works, you've just got to play around with the punctuation, this will influence the readers interpretation of flow and rests. This is how Shakespeare has done it, there may be other ways. I don't know.

An interesting idea, I hope you manage to pull it off.

Good luck!

Timmy