I hope

[sandsoftime]

do you have any idea how hard it is to write about how i feel without sounding just like that other guy that went throught the exact samething

I Hope
a-e-b-d/c#

I can’t sleep at night your always on my mind
When I close my eyes your there I can’t hide
I need to find away to lose my memory
I need to find away to start a new story

I hope these feelings I have will falter
I hope that I can forget soon
I hope that you will forgive me
I hope that I can forgive you

I’ve tried everything short of suicide
I’ve even tried to pray by my bedside
Even though it’s been awhile the wounds are still fresh
I can’t stop this bleeding much to my distress

I hope these feelings I have will falter
I hope that I can forget soon
I hope that you will forgive me
I hope that I can forgive you

My minds been clear something’s missing
I’ll admit that I miss reminiscing
Now I’d give anything just to recall
The memory I lost is better than nothing at all

I hope these feelings will not falter
I hope that I won’t forget soon
I hope that you will forgive me
I know that I already forgave you

if you must destroy it and i know you will please do it quietly cus i really can't get sleep...she really does keep me up all night...and not in the good way

[kreld]

For such a classcal cliche I liked it alot. The first verse and chorus need work making them a bit more original IMO, but the other stanzas didnt read off too cliche. Definetly song worthy!

[(H@mm3R-0f-Th3-G0D$)]

I can’t sleep at night your always on my mind
When I close my eyes your there I can’t hide
I need to find away to lose my memory
I need to find away to start a new story
it has a good flow here but very cliche. i know how you feel.id take out always in the first line. see if it sounds good.
I hope these feelings I have will falter
I hope that I can forget soon
I hope that you will forgive me
I hope that I can forgive you
at first thought i said to myself cliche, but its a cliche thats different from the others. i like how you made it different then all those 'other' songs out there
I’ve tried everything short of suicide
I’ve even tried to pray by my bedside
Even though it’s been awhile the wounds are still fresh
I can’t stop this bleeding much to my distress
"I’ve tried everything short of suicide" i like this right here. this is the best stanza in your song
I hope these feelings I have will falter
I hope that I can forget soon
I hope that you will forgive me
I hope that I can forgive you

My minds been clear something’s missing
I’ll admit that I miss reminiscing
Now I’d give anything just to recall
The memory I lost is better than nothing at all
this almost sounds like it would be a good bridge. not as strong as your privious verse, but not bad nonetheless
I hope these feelings will not falter
I hope that I won’t forget soon
I hope that you will forgive me
I know that I already forgave you
i like how you changed the idea here, but i belive if you used "know"instead of hope it would workout better for you
if you must destroy it and i know you will please do it quietly cus i really can't get sleep...she really does keep me up all night...and not in the good way
a bit cliche, but not horrible 6/10

ps crit mine plz http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=472274