A Ghost by the Windowpane

[masada]

I wrote this recently. I don't really know how to explain it anymore beyond that it's a vague reccollection of a few dreams that I've had. Enjoy.

"A Ghost by the Windowpane"

There's a ghost walking about in the heads of our past
As it calls me to it's breath I can only sit, and pray
Floating above islands lost in the midst, nonetheless
A reminder of our last days.

He hung her by her feet on the windowpane
Turning, he said to me:
"Death is the last release,
So fear not for the moment
When you realize you're with me
Every second"

A silhouette marked in the night
She returns on her own whim
Someday I will call woman to the leaves
And wait.

For a chance to recall every livid illusion
Of our awakening spread across the sheets
Insomnia desires in the dimming light
Until our apparitions set us free
From this sleepless pane.

[Storm In A Teacup]

Doing drugs with parents is just wrong.

Your lyrics don't make sense to me, Nick. But it's still cool.

[masada]

Any comments?

[JasonP]

I think it's absolutely brilliant,
If you ever put music to this I would love to hear it.
Nice piece of writing there:thumb:

[masada]

I feel like a jerk bumping this.

JasonP, thanks for your comment on this. I pretty much wrote this in one sitting, and then went back and changed a lot of it little later on, which is mainly what I do with my songs.

[JasonP]

same as me I guess :p
still a good piece of writing :)

[meizmatt]

i cant find a meaning to the lyrics, but they seem very deep, i too would love to hear them with some music underneat....what genre is it supposed to be?...i get a progerssive metal type feel when i read them...

[masada]

Progressive metal? Interesting.

To me it feels much more like a slow-burning, dramatic, orchestral type of deal. Not necessarily orchestral as in string sections, but more in the feel of instruments and so forth.

[Laetus]

Isn't it..
'He hung her by her feet..'

I'm not English - so I just wondered.. :p

Never the less, nice lyric... Not sure if I agree upon it fitting in an orchestral scenario - slow, heavy and as you said, dramatic, that I could imagine.

[meizmatt]

Isn't it..
'He hung her by her feet..'
it is...

[Oh, Cassandra]

There's a ghost walking about in the heads of our past
As it calls me to it's breath I can only sit, and pray
Floating above islands lost in the midst, nonetheless
A reminder of our last days.

It's .... flowy. And airy. And leads into the piece very nicely.

He hanged her by her feet on the windowpane
Turning, he said to me:
"Death is the last release,
So fear not for the moment
When you realize you're with me
Every second"

These are memorable lines. The kind of lines that are going to float back into my mind someday, and I'm going to go crazy trying to remember where I heard them. Neat.

A silhouette marked in the night
She returns on her own whim
Someday I will call woman to the leaves
And wait.

Short, but that's fine. It doesn't seem to add anything to the piece, but may that's the sort of stanza you need after that last one.

For a chance to recall every livid illusion
Of our awakening spread across the sheets
Insomnia desires in the dimming light
Until our apparitions set us free
From this sleepless pane.
Very pretty, but seems to be lacking something. Maybe it's just the ease with which the words run into each other, or maybe I'm crazy.

I can't seem to find anything to nitpick here, so I feel like this crit was a large waste of time for the both of us. Terribly sorry.

[sjada]

Really cool epic kind of feel to it, you can see the story in your head as you read. I definitly want to hear this to music.

[masada]

Once I get a computer microphone I'll attempt to record something for this and sing.

Thanks for all the comments and the correction with "hanged". I can't say I'm the greatest with things like that.

[Oh, Cassandra]

Once I get a computer microphone I'll attempt to record something for this and sing.

Thanks for all the comments and the correction with "hanged". I can't say I'm the greatest with things like that.

The word 'hanged' is not incorrect. Check for yourself at www.dictionary.com, if you wish.

[drumass04]

Hung is the usual past tense of hang. Unless it's in the context of a hanging, the execution method. If it's talking about execution then the correct term would be hanged.

So in the context of this, the correct past tense would be hung, as it isn't speaking about hanging in the terms of a rope around someone's neck. But it is around their feet, so perhaps it could go either way!


Oh, Cassandra summed it up really...nothing I can add.

Timmy

[masada]

Yeah, I understand that now.

Thanks for all the feedback. Good to have a song that finally gets more than a few replies.

[tytothebenj]

Nice job! Looks like one of the best pieces I've seen since I've been here!