Small untitled poem

[KurtCobain2902]

I don't know what it's about. It's about anyone who tries to find themselves, and can't.

His eyes are twitching
He seeks the truth
of the questions asked
Since his troubled youth

He who seeks
with all his heart
will be left to rot
in the dark

To ponder life
and wonder death
as a last resort
he'll shoot his head

[KurtCobain2902]

Anyone want to crit? Don't worry about being mean or harsh or anything, it's the only way to learn.

[EoghanQ]

he'll shoot his head lets it down a little bit. thought that it was great otherwise. really liked the bit about twitching eyes.

[drumass04]

I don't know what it's about. It's about anyone who tries to find themselves, and can't.

Talk about contradictions!!!

This is a very simple piece, and I like that. I rather like the first stanza, it's not mind blowingly great, it has no real sparks of imagination it's just comfortable and smooth to read. The middle to lines are perhaps a little cliched, but nothing too much to worry about.

I don't agree with what you say in the second stanza, but the way in which you wrote it really shines to me. The pure simplicity and bluntness is great, it matches the word 'rot' that used in the stanza.

The last line of the final stanza was a real let down. Think of something to take it's place. It let down the whole piece! Again I'm not sure if I agree with your message.

This is a very simple piece. As it is so short I don't think there is much to complain about, as there isn't much to read! It's simplicity is great, though it would be nice if you could keep it simple but expand and explain your ideas.

It's an ok piece, nothing amazing just nice.

Keep on writing, good luck.

Timmy