Perseverance (A friend best forgotten)

[Linkinbassist]

Hey, I'm back...

Here's a new piece. It was written after i was asked by someone to cut off some of my feelings towards my best friend who moved last august. At least its not another break-up song...

I never ran a marathon
Or swam the oceansize
But lactic acid builds up
In my persona, where it lies

So are you my best friend
Or a friend best forgotten?
Answer me, Quintology
Our past has rights to know

I'm so tired of running
But here's the final straight
And here you're saying 'Don't hold hope,
But don't think its too late...'

So are you my best friend
Or a friend best forgotten?
Answer me, Quintology
Our past has rights to know

Have a Drink, we've earnt it
10 months of walking blind
Stretch our souls, now we've pushed through
The heart screams 'Lets go home'

So are you my best friend
Or a friend best forgotten?
Answer me, Quintology
Our past has rights to know

Almost a year at the end of a phone
One final phone call before you come home
Almost a year at the end of a phone
One final phone call before you come home

So are you my best friend
Or a friend best forgotten?
Persevere, here's your answer
And I know you'll take the first one

So are you my best friend
Or a friend best forgotten?
Persevere, here's your answer
And I know you'll take the first one

[Linkinbassist]

crit'd be nice...

[DrunkRock]

It seems to me that the chorus appears to often. Not that it wasn't good, but I think i would get tired of hearing it so often.

I also don't understand the purpose of the word "quintology"

[drumass04]

I like this, I'll do an in-depth later and really get into it properly.

For now, I'll just say that I agree with DrunkRock, the chorus seems to appear a little too often. This could have some kind of symbolism to your friend being there all the time, constantly in your mind, I don't know. I'd suggest putting the chorus after every two verses. This would still work (I think) and wouldn't be quite as repetitive.

I'll be back!

Timmy

[Octavius]

I think the verses and the chorus are great and the structure of the verses is good, its just like others said the chorus does appear too often.

[Linkinbassist]

Its there to emphasis the point of a repeated question going through me.