United States Of Warmonger

[kurtnovogrohl]

Can I ask an honest question?
What break this society and nation
The heart and the soul, full of demon
Killing and destroying are tons of fun

We're not rebels but we're enemy
The enemy of our own country
We got no guns but we got guts
Together we fight side by side

Soldier on your right
Soldier on your left
And you in the middle
Hide inside your shell
What's left to cry over
Cause the flower
On the grave wither
Failure... Forever...

Now the victim of the cruelty is dead
But yet his body lie on the dirty bed
His bloodsheds are the painting of war
Each with its own story but nobody care

Sons of the soil, now get up and run!
Save your life and the fate of your children
We know better its the end of the world
But that doesn't mean its the end of the war

Soldier on your right
Soldier on your left
And you in the middle
Hide inside your shell
What's left to cry over
Cause the flower
On the grave wither
Failure... Forever...

All the fallen warrior!!!
You're all thirsty by the riverbank!!
All the fallen warrior!!!
No one will sing your legacy!!
All the fallen warrior!!!
You're all thirsty by the riverbank!!
All the fallen warrior!!!
No one will sing your legacy!!

[kurtnovogrohl]

oi.. anyone wanna say something?

[sjada]

he first time I rad this it seemed kind of ironic in a subtle way, Im not sure if it was supposed to be but overall it is very good. I like the differant perspectives you get out of each verse.

[kurtnovogrohl]

1 crit isn't enough.. i want more!

[Sepstrup]

I think it's a cheesy songtitle, to be honest.

[Buddha Bassline]

I agree. The title doesn't exactly scream 'musical genious', if you know what i mean. Besides that, some of the lyrics seem to be a tad clumsy. In some parts you seem to be tryin g to rhyme, while in most parts you don't seem to make any attempt at all. Maybe it makes alot more sense when sung properly, but like this it just doesn't seem to deliver as well as it could!

(good subject matter, BTW)

[kurtnovogrohl]

ok thanks guys.. i don't mind harsh crit..

[TojesDolan]

Good to know.

Can I ask an honest question?
What break this society and nation
The heart and the soul, full of demon
Killing and destroying are tons of fun

Eh, I don't like how it ends. Just doesn't seem to fit in the vibe it's growing from the beginning. Say "kill and destroy the diversion of the Gods", something more "In your face".

We're not rebels but we're enemy
The enemy of our own country
We got no guns but we got guts
Together we fight side by side


Very... metallica back in the day. I dislike the angst it tries to portray, sort of it's-been-done-before. I'd try and change a word or two here or there to make it more interesting and more "hidden meaning".

Soldier on your right
Soldier on your left
And you in the middle
Hide inside your shell
What's left to cry over
Cause the flower
On the grave wither
Failure... Forever...

"hide in your shell" yeah that's good, the rest seems like a hokey-pokey game with war antics going on.

Now the victim of the cruelty is dead
But yet his body lie on the dirty bed
His bloodsheds are the painting of war
Each with its own story but nobody care

Starts cliché but sort of builds up, one of the recuable lines. Ends up equally clichéd.

Sons of the soil, now get up and run!
Save your life and the fate of your children
We know better its the end of the world
But that doesn't mean its the end of the war

Ah, Iron Maiden I was thinking. But you don't seem to be very... well documented. Try and read more of wars and create a more haunting vibe, I guess.


All the fallen warrior!!!
You're all thirsty by the riverbank!!
All the fallen warrior!!!
No one will sing your legacy!!
All the fallen warrior!!!
You're all thirsty by the riverbank!!
All the fallen warrior!!!
No one will sing your legacy!!

Eh for poetic purposes this is just... too repetitive, to say the least. Just try and document yourself more on the subject. :)

[Magnus55]

My best advice to you is, do not write songs in a language you cannot speak fluently, especially if you are going to write a broken-English-half-attempt at a political song to critisize someone else's government in their native language. It leaves you looking like an uneducated idiot.

[kurtnovogrohl]

now that is not a crit, thats flaming..

[TojesDolan]

Nope, it's a critique.