Portraits and Murder Ballads

[EatingABook]

Contimplating life or death, i'm stuck between a rock and a hardplace. If life is chosen I will live with all it's melancholy pleasures. If death is the path I desire, peace come to mind, but the way i've lived my life peace will forever evade me. Death always seems to equal nothing , I wouldn't have to worry or hurt or love, it seems like the right choice. But when you think of all the insignificent things that life offers, the things we live for, you're swayed to choose life.

[Magnus55]

To me it read as a rambling philosophy paper. It strikes me as very bland, with little to no imagery. Everybody talks about death and life. You need to find an original way to present this idea if you want people to read it.

[incubotic]

/\ Yes, I cant see how this could be a song or even poetry either really since its just a random paragraph. Again its very cliched and seems abit immature, though its maginally less annoying than your other 'song'.

[insanepunkguy]

ok then...

1. put some structure to it for gods sake
2. this sounds like it's been written by someone on their deathbed, except probably not as mature
3. use some imagery
4. talk about your life, you say because the eay you've lived your life peace will evade you. Expand on that, why will peace evade you?? that could be a great thing to work on in this peace
5. go back to the drawing board and start again, but don't forget the ideas put down here...

[EatingABook]

For sure i was just messing around and that what i came up with