Streetlights and Horrible Tragedies

[CrazyBass30]

Another song. I think it's good, what do you think?

Verse 1
Call the paramedic
There's an emergency
the kid's not seein' straight
can't you see?

Pre-chorus
We've got multiple factors
for this disaster
He's gone at such a young age

Chorus
It's quite horrendous
The paler he turns when he fades
She's asking to end this
with no apprehensions
She can't handle anymore pain

Verse 2
He's dropped off the charts
and flatlining at best
the words "he'll be just fine"
are easy to digest

Pre-chorus 2
Battered and broken
He lays there unspoken
His thoughts can't be put to words

Chorus
It's quite horrendous
The paler he turns when he fades
She's asking to end this
with no apprehensions
She can't handle anymore pain
The paler he turns when he fades

[Linkinbassist]

kick in another verse, cause it seems a bit short...

[CrazyBass30]

besides that, how is it?

[Linkinbassist]

Not bad, i like the idea of it, but it seems a bit short. the pre-choruses are short, sweet and to the point, but i'd reword PC2 as this:

Pre-chorus 2
Battered and broken
He lays here unspoken
His thoughts can't be put to words

Reason? It seems like its more realtime, like the rest of the piece. Other than that, its got good imagery and has a point to is. 7.5/10 for you, man, good stuff...

[CrazyBass30]

thanks. anything else?