The Chrysler Song

[crimson hands]

The Chrysler Song

All that I recall
Was those voices on that phone
They still echo round my head each night
They don't leave me alone
The more I try to hold you close
The more distance I feel
Has come between us
Like a phantom
Possessing those four wheels

All that I repeat
Are these murmurs in my brain
That corrupt and **** my head each night
Now I don't see the same
The more I try to say "I love you"
The less romance I feel
Is left between us
Like a phantom
Killed by those four wheels

This ride becomes another
Plain outlet for false emotion
Outside the windows, time stands still
Inside time just stands frozen

All that I regret
Was the way we couldn't change
We couldn't stand to stand and fight
We gave in to our pain
The more I try to mouth "I miss you"
The more you'll just see dust
And I'll descend further, like a phantom
Until my engine rusts

This ride becomes another
Plain outlet for false emotion
This ride becomes a casket
In the graveyard of the ocean

[PhobiaOFme]

I think this is a great lyric, but i feel it might be better reworded a little.
I think that the 1st stanza, sixth and seventh line doesnt sound all that great. Its the jump from lines. Maybe change the words around a little.

"The more I try to hold you close
The more distance I feel
Has come between us
Like a phantom
Possessing those four wheels"

[Bigbadbob]

Grammer changes I would make
All that I recall
Were those voices on the phone

They won't leave me alone

Yea those lines are tough "The more distance I feel
Has come between us" & "The less romance I feel
Is left between us" unless you're doing something musically that we cant read/hear, otherwise I'd say no.

Good. I like you're stuff

[stress]

i agree with bigbadbob


"The more distance I feel
Has come between us

"The less romance I feel
Is left between us"

if you are intending on putting this to music the above parts are going to be difficult.

this part
"This ride becomes another
Plain outlet for false emotion
This ride becomes a casket
In the graveyard of the ocean"

i think this is extremely well written, especially the last 2 lines.

id give you 8/10 just purley based on the last part