Unfinished Symphony

[kerazay]

OK this isn't anything relating to Beethoven's Unfinished Symphony... was it Beethoven's?! Anyway, check it out, leave your honest opinions... etc etc

I feel it strangle
And I hold back the remorse
Does it struggle
With the endless stop signs?
I can't remember the first time
I caught the sparks in someone else's eyes
Filing my thoughts into cabinets in my head
Sorting them through

And it's really just music to my ears
An unfinished symphony in the stars

He says take it on board
I can't do that
What's wrong now, what's going on she says
I can keep pretending
But I don't want to try anymore
All these words aren't true
But it feels like deja vu, ok I see
Join me and waste away with pleasure

And I can't go anywhere without remembering
The music in my head
With an ending written in the stars

Follow the pale shadow
Ask for attention
I can't stand the thought of it
Like gold dust i sparkle
Masking my name
But i can't remember how to answer
With a dignified smile

And I stay awake
Without adding a piece of music
To the unfinished symphony in the stars

[kerazay]

ok what the f*ck 18 views and not one comment? i bet if i had written "crit 4 crit" in the title then i would've got some...

[crimson hands]

i dont think its beethovens...but anyway, yeah i like this. Its good. Would make a nice acoustic song methinks. Sorry I can't be too in depth with the "crit", i'm so tired, i promise I'll write a better analysis later. But for now...

8/10

i have a feeling I'm gonna like your stuff, so keep posting!

[crazysockmanface]

ok...I'm just gonna sum it all up in a few sentences: I really like the idea of the song being an unfinished symphony; because it IS! You could really take some lines and add them together to make more room for other things that should be written. The song has a lot of detail, but I can't seem to find about what. and if it is about your music, then seems to me the song would be slow, and then get faster towards the end. But the song leaves me wanting to hear more, very hyponitizing words and some nice imagery, too. All in all a good piece, but i have a feeling it's not your best. I think you're gonna do well here. And, befor I go, what sort of music is the song supposed to be put ot, so i can get an idea in my mind? I was thinking almost Straylight Run.

[kerazay]

Thanks for the crits guys. Crimson Hands, I've posted many, many things on this forum so you should already be lookin for em :P... and crazysockmanface, the song has a slow pickin style to it which builds up to spanish kinda strumming in the chorus.

[Zmev]

Unfinished Symphony is a Massive Attack song.

[kerazay]

Unfinished Symphony is a Massive Attack song.

that's very interesting and all but it doesn't really qualify as a crit for this