Blockhead's Review Thread.

[smart blockhead]

In this thread, I am going to be writing reviews on a variety of subjects. I will cover video games, movies, TV shows, comics, cds, holidays, posters, concepts, and people. Basically anything I feel like reviewing. Each review will contain an essay of what I think about the topic and a 1-10 rating. I'm going to write my first one pretty soon and you can expect around three a day. I'm looking forward to doing this and I hope you guys enjoy it and we can have a long-lasting thread.

[smart blockhead]

Easter

Today is Easter so I thought I would start my reviews on this topic. I don't really care for Easter all that much personally. One of the main reasons is because I don't like getting up and going to church. This probably has to do with our church being dimly lit, me being invariably tired, and having to listen to the preacher drone on about how great jesus is. I mean really couldn't they sum up everything they say in church with "God is good, kiss his ***!" It sure would save me a lot of trouble.

My family came over today and we ate some food and stuff so that wasn't all that bad. My cousin and I left after lunch and played Super Mario World, so that was the highlight of the day so far. There was also some chocalate that I ate so that's good. Easter's basically a sucky holiday.

Rating: 3/10

[smart blockhead]

Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

JtHM is a seven issue comic book series by Invader Zim creator, Jhonen Vasquez. It depicts the life of a serial killer named Johnny, Nny (pronounced "knee") for short. Nny isn't exactly well-adjusted and if someone is making fun of him, being irritating, or using a word he dislikes, he'll take them back to his house and torture them and kill them. You see, Nny has to kill people to keep a wall in his house wet with blood so the monster on the other side can't break free.

http://www.hall-of-mirrors.com/labyrinth/Johnny%20The%20Homicidal%20Maniac%20-%20Pic%2011.jpg

With a personality like that, you would think that Nny would live by himself and he does. Sort of. Nny lives with Nail Bunny, a bunny nailed to a wall, Psycho Doughboy, and Mr. Eff, two demented styrofoam versions of the Pillsbury Dougboy. These are all figments of Nny's imagination though and Psychodougboy wishes Johnny would just end his life so his master, the wall monster can break free.

One of my favorite parts of reading this series was getting to look at all the artwork. Ever since Invader Zim, I have been fond of Jhonen's demented way of drawing characters and backgrounds. The art is kind of crude looking but in a very cool way. It looks like something you could draw yourself, but Jhonen does it with a very unique style that I have never seen anything like before.

Each issue contains several Nny stories and smaller strips such as Wobbly Headed Bob, Meanwhiles, and Happy Noodle Boy. Wobbly Headed Bob, which tells the tales of a guy named Bob who goes around sharing his exteremely negative "advice" to peope, is by far the funniest part of the book. You see Bob suffers because he is superior. He is smart and the other people are ignorant, what else is he to do besides share his wisdom? Meanwhiles can be funny sometimes. For example: a man and woman go on a date and the man shitss his pants. I'm not that fond of Happy Noodle Boy, but it's alright, I guess.


8/10

[smart blockhead]

Watchmen

Comic book by Alan Moore and David Gibbons depicting the life of costumed crimefighters in an alternate future where they are outlawed. Apparently this comic turned the industry on it's ear or something simialar, but I wasn't really around to see that happened and plus hasn't J. Jonah Jameson always hated Spidey wanted him behind bars since the 60's?

Not that that detracts from the greatness of Watchmen though. Moore is a great writer and does a fantastic job of charecterization while still moving the plot along at a comfortable pace. Characters like The Comedian, Nite Owl II, and Rorschach really seem like they have true personalities and all the major characters have a chapter devoted to telling their backstory.

The complexity of Watchmen is what truly makes it stand above other comics though. There are motifs and other literary devices all over the place. I reread this for a second time a few days ago, and I was astounded by how many small details I had missed.

Not to mention the moral conundrum of an ending that will leave you thinking long after you finish the book. V for Vendetta is good, but Watchmen is infinitely better.

http://www.thecomicshop.com.au/site6/lotx01/watchmen-12-nm-dc.jpg
9.5/10

[smart blockhead]

Snakes on a Plane

"I want these mother****in' snakes off this mother****in' plane!." I haven't seen this movie yet, but I don't have to tell that it's awesome. The entire concept is great. I'm going to go see this movie just to see Samuel L. Jackson scream the aforementioned quote.

8/10

[Ducky_72]

:) Good job

[smart blockhead]

Sex and the City

I hate this show so much. Who's idea was it to make a show about gossipy bitches and their problems. The only good part of the show is when that Samantha girl gets naked, and that doesn't happen often enough. On that note why are the other girls not naked on the show? If you make a show called Sex and the City, I want to see some goddamn nudity!

1/10

[MBS]

Is Nudity censored?

[smart blockhead]

Metal Gear Series

One of my favorite videogame series of all time. The story is about Foxhound(later ex-foxhound) operative and his missions to destroy various Metal Gears, which are basically bi-pedal tanks. As the story progresses it gets more and more complex and you really start to feel like you're interacting with a film.

The first game in the series is MGS3: Snake Eater, which future terrorist Big Boss's origins. The next game, Metal Gear, takes place in a place called Outer Heaven, which is suppposedly a soldier's paradise, but is more of a terrorist state. This state is governed by a mysterious dicatator that stays in power by taking some scientist hostage and creating the first Metal Gear. Grey Fox, the best soldier in Foxhound has been captured, so a rookie, that would be Solid Snake, is sent in to take down the leader and save Grey Fox. I'm not too sure about the MG2: Solid Snake story as of now. Metal Gear Solid, which believe it or not, is the fourth in the series, despite many people thinking it's the first, is about Solid Snake infiltrating an Alaskan Island controlled by Ex-Foxhounder Liquid Snake who has constructed a new Metal Gear. Liquid plans to use Metal Gear Rex to meet his demands for the remains of Big Boss. Metal Gear Solid 2 is about some fag named Raiden and a bunch of bs I don't feel like explaining.

The games are all pretty much the same in the basic premise, you have to sneak around guards in a factory(usually). Although, I usually just end up barely sneaking and just killing people who get in my way and running if I happen to set off the alarm.

http://images-jp.amazon.com/images/P/B0009RQKU8.09.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

10/10

[smart blockhead]

Is Nudity censored?
I meant to do it on the word before it but, I accidentally did it on nudity and didn't bother to change it.

You guys can request reviews if you like.

[MBS]

Metal Gear Series

One of my favorite videogame series of all time. The story is about Foxhound(later ex-foxhound) operative and his missions to destroy various Metal Gears, which are basically bi-pedal tanks. As the story progresses it gets more and more complex and you really start to feel like you're interacting with a film. Hideo Kojima is a really talented writer and director and if you like Metal Gear you should check out a game called Snatcher for the Sega CD.

I got MGS3:Subsistence two days ago and it's awesome. Great story for a videogame, I really get hooked by these games and can play them for hours on end. If all games were like this, I'd never leave the house.

10/10

Great MGS is awesome.

Do Jesus.

[smart blockhead]

Jesus

I have to say that I kind of find Jesus to be a bit overrated since we don't even know if he is the son of God or if he really performed those miracles. Most of his teachings were generally pretty good moral principles but I still don't know about the whole son of God thing. I mean he could have just been some drunk off the street trying to get attention. Another situation is that he was born to Joseph and Mary and they were religious zealots who told him from a young age that he was the son of God, so I don't know if I can really blame him. He seems like he was a pretty nice guy except that time he threw the temper tantrum in the temple.

If he was lying: 5/10
If he is the son of God (assuming God exists): 10/10

[smart blockhead]

I'm just getting started, all these reviews are being reworked with pictures, links, and more details now.

[Klown]

Review request - Chuck Norris.

I'm just getting started, all these reviews are being reworked with pictures, links, and more details now.

In light of that, another request - *******.

[smart blockhead]

Chuck Norris

I thoroughly loathe Chuck Norris. Actually, I take the back, I don't hate Chuck Norris but I hate the "jokes" about him. They don't really have much of a punchline except saying the word "Chuck Norris" in them.

Who we should really should be blaming the though is the TV show Family Guy, which popularized the "lol pop culture reference" humor. If you notice the Chuck Norris jokes were invented just after Family Guy became extremely popular. Maybe I have a weird sense of humor, but I don't think the Chuck Norris jokes are funny at all. In fact, the jokes lose no humor if you exchange Chuck Norris for Bruce Lee or any other celebrity. Lets all be glad these jokes aren't popular anymore.

1/10

[smart blockhead]

Doolittle

This is an album by a band called The Pixies and in my opinion is their best. Some people have taken to over analyzing it quite a bit and trying to find the "deeper meaning" of the songs. In fact, some crazy asshole even thought the part "if god is 5, then the devil is 6, and if the devil is 6 then god is 7" meant you were supposed to multiply the amount of times Black Francis said the number by the number he's saying and skip that many songs. Yeah, weird I know. Anyway, I'm not one of those people who over-analyzes the songs. I like them for what they are: catchy songs about weird ****. Black Francis put it the best "it didn't mean anything, I just thought the word's sounded good together."

The album kicks off with "Debaser" a song about "Un Cien Andilou" a Salvador Dolly and some other guy film that's only seventeen minutes long and has a scene where a girl gets her eyeball sliced in half. Another notable song is "Here Comes Your Man" a very poppy song that I have heard is about the Hiroshima bombing(the man in the title being the Fat Man bomb), although I doubt how true that interpretation. Monkey Gone to Heaven is another good one, especially the bridge after the second chorus, which prompted that crazy guy to start doing math. "Hey" actually seems to be a fairly serious song about how relationships "chain" people to each other. It's kind of suprising to hear this song after the crazy songs before but it's actually pretty thought provoking and in my opinion, not far from the truth. Pick this album up if you like alternative music and have an open mind.

http://www.pogopop.it/pixies-doolittle.gif
9/10

[smart blockhead]

I'm going to stop doing this if people don't start posting in here. You can make requests.