Gomer

[jsu]

here's my best song by my mom's standards. i am currently writing for my band LTC. to read up on the story behind this song, look up in the Bible Hosea 1-3.




In this place
Saw her face
Couldn't be more happier
Made for Him
It's a sin
That she was not faithful
She couldn't be
Foolishly
More unfaithful if she tried
He did not care
Wanted her
Despite lies and wandering eyes

He deserved the very best
But He loved her none the less

She's forgotten her first love
(Maybe one day she'll return)
He's forgotten that she ever
Ran away and broke His heart

Lavished on
Silver, gold, anything she needed
Wasted thoughts
Broken hearts
Love was not acknowledged

God only knows
That He has shown her
More love than she deserves
There will come a time
When she will find
That He's not there
To give her love
And He'll be gone away
From her forever

(Chorus)

[slack]

I am unfamiliar with Hosea 1-3, so I'm going off what you've written here. Basically, it seems like a man is lusting after an unfaithful wife. It's very plainly written and it gets the message across, but at the same time it's not very interesting writing.

In the second stanza you never explain why he 'deserved the very best', and I thought that detail was pretty important since you're attempting to draw comparisons between a good, faithful man and a bad, unfaithful woman.

I just don't feel anything for these two characters, and the reason is because there's a lot of missing information, or a back-story. This is just my personal view, but I think instead of pointing people to Hosea 1-3 for more information about the story, you should've fleshed this piece out so it could've stood on it's own.

Overall, it's decent. The actual writing is not very 'poetic' or interesting, but it does get the job done.

[sustained_anthem]

yeah Im not exactly digging it, havnt read the bible, dont have one close but the lyrics have forced rhymes and not just that the way they are said is just not amazing, ok but no amazing

there is plenty of occasions where simple obvious rhyming works wonders but this simple obvious rhyming is just well simple and obvious

keep writing

[jsu]

thanks for the critique, guys. i'll keep working.:) but i guess i'll explain the second stanza. "he deserved the very best" is talking about the prophet Hosea. this whole story was used as a word picture of how God loved His people even when they where unfaithful.

[711]

This is a pretty good song, you obviously spend a lot of time writing since you have posted several songs today. Keep writing, youve got talent, but try to find what you really enjoy writing about.

[slack]

Gomer's Song (http://www.lyricsondemand.com/t/thirddaylyrics/gomerssonglyrics.html) - by Third Day.

[schecterplaya]

did you mean to copy that so closely? i am not trying to be rude here but jw.

[jsu]

did you mean to copy that so closely? i am not trying to be rude here but jw.

I promise, I didn't! i didn't even know that the song slack gave the whole world a link to existed! i read up in Hosea and then wrote a song:amaze: read up and see for yourself!

[FA]

I promise, I didn't! i didn't even know that the song slack gave the whole world a link to existed! i read up in Hosea and then wrote a song:amaze: read up and see for yourself!

It's word for word....

[jsu]

It's word for word....

WELL, THEN WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: