Work in progress...

[Disturbed]

The moon
Glistens off the water
In darkness pulling sanity
A mental rip of gravity

And that is my excuse
For behavior for crimes for anger
For putting lives in danger

Blame the sky
And its evil night eye
Because it's making me
Someone I don't want to be

Do you sneer?
Am I just a killer
Soon to be more prison filler

My scapegoat way up high
Does it point right back at me?
Is there insufficient evidence
Of conspiracy in the dark heavens?

(chorus)- Convicted now, I don't know why
But one thing is for sure
If darkness isn't brought to light
This life is just one grain on eternity's shore

(all i got so far... gonna add/edit/remove all that good ****... but the whole full moon insanity idea just appealed to me enough to be a song)

[Silverhammer]

i like the whole full moon insanity idea and the lingering idea of this being your downfall, has sort of paranoid feel, like the moon is watching constantly waiting for you to slip-up which is the root of the insanity...or something like that... anywho, there are a few changes just to make things flow better in my opinion here they are:

The moon
Glistens off the water
In darkness (plucking) sanity
A mental rip (from) gravity

Plucking to go with the idea of the moon causing insanity by it getting rid of the sane, plucking them out and rip from gravity to give idea that the person is being taken away from the laws of this world which was probably your originally intention for adding that but it makes more sense with from instead of "of".

And (this) is my excuse
For (behavioral) crimes of anger
For putting (countless) lives in danger

I suggested "this" b/c it sounds more like a confession which goes with the idea towards the end about eh prison filler (which is neat by the way with this idea of involuntary rebellion) the second line i changed b/c there were too many "for"s in there. and the last line i added the adj to give the statement magnitude so one can get a scope for how deep this matter is.

as for the rest, i like it and can't suggest what to change since i dont want to manipulate the idea any further. what you have after that is a pretty solid idea that just needs to be shaped and made clear. i suggest coming up with a clear end and idea for the piece and the effect that you want to have, then get what you want down then shape it to make the original idea work but not to the extent where you are just trying to make it breath at the end. good luck.

[shmanz]

I really feel that this carries a great contrasting sense. With the moon glistening being a calm peacful sounding, then moving over to the prison filler. I really would like to hear this song put to music, and depending on the backing music, this could be a great song.

[Disturbed]

thanks for the language advice. i like some of it and will take it into consideration during revision and completion.

[Disturbed]

sorry i had to make a correction at the end of it...
instead of "if darkness isnt brought to life" it was supposed to be "if darkness isnt brought to light"... corrected.

[shmanz]

Let me know when you edit this, and when you apply music if ever planned.

Shmanz

[Disturbed]

i plan on sittin down with my acoustic sometime soon... anytime i write i have a melody in my head i just gotta take the time to find it but ill let ya know.