The Love Parade (Crit. for Crit.)

[spongebath01]

Yo... My band's name is the Love Parade and I decided to write a song with the same title. It's just a short little album opener. Let me know what you think.

The Love Parade (edited)

The love parade is taking out to the street
A queer masquerade in the sheer summers’ heat
100 men deep and 100 men tall
A good time will be had by all

The love parade is hitting the street
So clap your hands and stomp your feet

The love parade is hitting the street
So clasp your hands and bend your knees

The love parade is hitting the street (alright)

The love parade is taking out to the street
A serenade of belittling beats
With the rattling drums and the brass toot-toot-tooting
The clowns honk their horns and the fluter keeps fluting

The love parade is hitting the street
So clap your hands and stomp your feet

The love parade is hitting the street
So clasp your hands and bend your knees

The love parade is hitting the street (alright)

The love parade is taking out to the street
And off in the shade, you can hear the preacher preach
That the after life is certain but this mortal life’s unknown
The past is undecided, but the future’s set in stone

So clap your hands and stomp your feet
So clap your hands and stomp your feet
So clap your hands and stomp your feet
Because the love parade is hitting the street (alright)



Thanks,

Zach

[fingis]

i think it's wayyy to repetitive.. i know it's supposed to be like that.. and i especially hate the "clap your hands and stomp your feet" reminds me of that dinasaur movie were back..but it's an ok song.. i could see a band like the polyphonic spree or broken social scene singin this song

[sandsoftime]

The love parade is taking out to the street
A serenade of marching feet
100 men deep and 100 men tall
A good time will be had by all
<back-streets back...alright...oh sick i just had a boy band moment...but thats what this reminds me of...i'm not saying thats a bad thing...but it kind of is>

The love parade is hitting the street
So clap your hands and stomp your feet

The love parade is hitting the street
So clap your hands and stomp your feet

The love parade is taking out to the street
A serenade of corresponding feet
With the rattling drums and the brass toot-toot-tooting
The clowns honk their horns and the fluter keeps fluting
<hey you do know that other things write with street...theres more than just feet>
<mmmm fluting>

The love parade is hitting the street
So clap your hands and stomp your feet

The love parade is hitting the street
So clap your hands and stomp your feet

The love parade is taking out to the street
So clasp your hands and bend your knees
The after life is certain but this mortal life’s unknown
The past is undecided, but the future’s set in stone
<thats actually very well done...now that we are over the foot fetish...we can really write...i mean you>
<oh but its over>
1. what kind of band is this...a marching band from junior high?
2. get over the feet...there are things like beet...and sweet
3. the last verse shows you've got some skills but the stuff before it is just sad
4. listen to sum 41 or relient k's intros...they are good
5. no hard feelings
6. HAVE A NICE DAY

[spongebath01]

Wow! I like the way you crit sandsoftime . I was going for the recurring foot thing but I guess I could try to mix it up a little. I'll make some changes and maybee repost. Thanks for the crits. you guys.

P.S. It's an indie band... and seeing as indie music has a new preoccupation with dancing, I figured I'd make a catchy opener

[sandsoftime]

well thanks...and please don't take this the wrong way...i've just been having a...well...dry spell and i could really use a crit on Colors...please

[spongebath01]

well thanks...and please don't take this the wrong way...i've just been having a...well...dry spell and i could really use a crit on Colors...please

No worries. I'll be sure to check yours out

[iggy stooge]

kinda reminds me of a song in willy wonka and the choclate factory....

[El_Goodo]

This song gives me a "Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite" vibe. (A Beatles song from Sgt. Pepper incase you didn't know. I could see this song being played with the same kind of circus music.

It looks like a pretty solid song to me.

[spongebath01]

This song gives me a "Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite" vibe. (A Beatles song from Sgt. Pepper incase you didn't know. I could see this song being played with the same kind of circus music.

It looks like a pretty solid song to me.

Oddly enough, I wrote it with circus music in mind! How did you know? I wrote it in the style of the Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah! opening track