stuck in the middle(between life and death) with audio

[i_need_therapy_17]

Verse 1:
I've done alot in this life
is there something more
I've ran out of things to do
my lifes a stupid bore
people always tell me
you have good and bad times
but I just have times
am I losing my mind?

Chorus:
I dont wanna die
but I cant go on like this
I'm stuck in the middle
am I happy or depressed?
I can't take any pills
because they lost there effect
I'm stuck in the middle
between life and death

Verse 2:
I have nothing to live for
but no reason to die
its like im a robot
with no feelings inside
maybe I'll wake up one day
and finally feel pain
cause with pain comes happiness
and I wont die in vain

you can listen to the song here www.soundclick.com/bubby
tell me what you think

[FA]

wtf...is that your real voice? you sound 8 years old.

[deathbyjello]

The requested URL /forums/www.soundclick.com/bubby was not found on this server.

[anarchy_revolution]

Number one:
What the hell?? are you holding your nose?? Well anyway, your lyrics don't flow very much. And the guitar chords are very I-vi-IV-V-ish, this isn't about the guitars, this is about the lyrics.

Verse 1:
I've done alot in this life
is there something more
I've ran out of things to do
my lifes a stupid bore
people always tell me
you have good and bad times
but I just have times
am I losing my mind?
Very, very cliche. I can tell that this is one of your first songs because of the bluntness of the way you wrote it. You have no type of metaphors or anything in this.
Try, instead of saying:
"I've done a lot in this life, is there something more,
I've run out of things to do, my life is a stupid bore."

Change it so that it is not so obvious what you are trying to convey. Now I am not very good at lyrics myself, but maybe you should change it around to something like:
"Good times came with happiness, with sadness fade away,
something something you think of the rest. But try not to just say "I was bored. or "my life is a stupid bore."

The same goes for the whole rest of the song. Some parts are okay, but look for parts where you just flat write your emotions, and think of other ways you can express that.

[deathbyjello]

Just kidding. xD

How do you sing like that?

[i_need_therapy_17]

lol it sounds like that because for some reason on high-fi it speeds it up about 30% try it on low-fi

[Daisy_5]

I've honestly heard these lyrics in some pop punk song before. I didn't listen to the music because the lyrics didn't draw me into wanting to hear the song. (No offence).

It's not a dodgy subject to do, Just try and think of a completely different way to put it.

All roads lead to the same place, Just choose the right way to get there :)