G_Mac07
03-20-2006, 08:33 AM
Something Wal-Mart Comes This Way - Season 8, Episode 9
Wal-Mart comes to South Park, and is incredibly successful. In fact, it’s so successful that it drives every other store in town out of business. The people of South Park then rally to stop going to the store, and start supporting the local businesses again, but the incredible savings a corporate can offer lures them all back in. What’s the only solution? Burn the store down of course. In this episode, Cartman also bets Stan $5 that you crap your pants when you die.
Cartman: I'm afraid not, Kyle! Wall-Mart is a great store! I could not let you fools ruin its terrific bargains! You see, I was working for Wall-Mart all along!
Kyle: I knew you were!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did! I said from the beginning that you would do this!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: ... You see, Kyle, it was me who slashed the bu-
Kyle: -slashed the bus tires in Arkansas! I said so! I told you the minute that I and I told you that-
Cartman: (plugs his ears) I can't hear you! Lalalalalala! I'm sorry, boys. but if you want to hurt the Wall*Mart, you'll have to go through me!
Kyle: We don't have time for this! Kenny, keep him away from us!
Cartman: Very well, Kenny! Let us battle! (Kenny begins punching Cartman) No, Kenny. Kenny! Knock it off!
Randy: *shopping late at night* I just needed to get a glass...and maybe... some chips.
Ginger Kids - Season 9, Episode 10
Cartman gives a presentation on Ginger Kids at school, who he claims suffer from “Gingervitus”, and that they have no soul. He then tells of the Daywalker breed of Ginger Kid, who doesn’t have freckles or pale skin. He uses Kyle as an example, who gets angry, and convinces Stan and Kenny to help him turn Cartman into a Ginger Kid. Cartman then takes advantage of his situation, and turns the Ginger Kids into a pack of racists.
Kyle: It's not a presentation, it's a hate speech! People aren't creeped out by gingers!
Clyde: [looks around] I am.
Cartman: The sun's rays are bad for my skin, so I need to be protected when I'm outside. Well, I'm glad we've gotten all that out of the way, and now we can just go on with our lives as normal.
Kyle: Wow, that's a little ironic, isn't it?
Cartman: What do you mean, Kyle?
Kyle: Well, I mean, all last week you were ripping on ginger kids and now you are one.
Cartman: I don't really see the irony in that, Kyle.
Here Comes The Neighbourhood - Season 5, Episode 12
The children have to give a speech at school, and when Token does his, they make fun of him for being rich. Token then wishes that more rich kids like him would come to town. They do, but they are also all black, as it’s people such as Snoop Dogg and Will Smith who move to South Park. The poorer (white) residents of South Park end up trying to drive out the richer (Black) residents out of town.
Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares
Guys: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park
Mr. Marsh: Yeah you'll become what you hate
Mr. Garison: ........Yeah but atleast I got rid of all those damn nigg[South Park ending theme]
Jimbo: How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They can hire someone to screw it in for them!
Marjorine - Season 9, Episode 9
The boys discover that the girls have a device that can see into the future, and they decide that they must have it. To do this, they are going to have to sneak a boy into a slumber party, and in order to do this, they are going to have to fake his death. Of course, Butters is chosen, and the next day a girl called Marjorine (Butters) shows up at the school. She gets invited to the slumber party. Meanwhile, some crazy stuff happens with Butters being buried in an old Indian burial ground. Butters then steals the future telling device, and goes home to tell his parents that he is alive, but when he gets there, they think he is possessed and lock him in the basement.
Cartman: Now, Butters, we don't know exactly what it is girls do at slumber parties, but if they all start, you know, lezzing out, just roll with it.
Butters: Lezzing out? What's lezzing out?
Butters: [tied up in basement] Mom, Dad, can I come upstairs now?
Butters' Dad: Sorry, son, but you're a demon spawn now. You're an abomination
Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow - Season 9, Episode 8
Stan and Cartman are playing in a speed boat, when they decide to actually drive it, they then crash it into a giant beaver damn, flooding the town of Beaverton. The boys keep it a secret that they caused the flood, whilst the rest of the state believes it was global warming. The episode is a big parody to The Day After Tomorrow movie.
Stan: Somebody's gonna help the people off their, their rooftops, right?
Randy: That's not important right now, son. What's important is figuring out whose fault this is.
Reporter: We're not sure what exactly is going on inside the town of Beaverton, uh, Tom, but we're reporting that there's looting, raping, and yes, even acts of cannibalism.
Anchorman: My God, you've, you've actually seen people looting, raping and eating each other?
Reporter: No, no, we haven't actually seen it Tom, we're just reporting it.
Chinpokomon - Season 3, Episode 11
The boys have discovered Chinpokomon and they can’t get enough of them. They get their parents to buy them everything Chinpokomon, including a new videogame that has begun brainwashing them into bombing Pearl Harbor. When the government seems incapable of doing anything about it, the parents must come up with a solution to save their children and the country
Kyle's Dad: You see, son, fads come and go. And this "Chin-po-ko Mon" is obviously nothing more than a fad. You don't have to be a part of it. In fact, you can make an even stronger statement by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part of this fad, because I'm an individual." Do you understand?
Kyle: Yes. Yes, I do, Dad. Now let me tell you how it works in the real world. In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon, or I can be the only kid without one, which singles me out, and causes the other kids to make fun of me and kick my ***.
Kyle's Dad: Hmm. Good point; here's $10.
Bill Clinton: My fellow Americans, I wish to address the concerns many of us have over the growing number of Japanese military bases forming in the United States. The new Japanese emperor, Hirohito, has made our own children into fighter pilots who will soon fly to Hawaii and attack Pearl Harbor. I spoke with Mr. Hirohito this morning, and he assured me that I have a very large penis. He said it was mammoth, dinosauric, and absolutely dwarfed his penis, which, he assured me, was nearly microscopic in size. My penis, he said, was most likely one of the biggest on the planet. I applaud Mr. Hirohito in his honesty. Thank you.
The Wacky Molestation Adventure - Season 4, Episode 16
So that he can attend the “Raging Pussies” concert, Kyle calls the police and accuses his parents of "molestering" him. Soon all the children have called the police on their parents and they are the only ones left populating the town. When a couple breaks down while passing through town they find themselves in a town divided, one side Treasure Cove is controlled by Stan and Kyle, the other “Smiley Town” is controlled by Cartman. Meanwhile, the children’s parents get the help they need to keep them from sexually abusing their children.
Cartman: Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! i'm telling my parents that i'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah!
Stan: Dude! Guess what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?
Wal-Mart comes to South Park, and is incredibly successful. In fact, it’s so successful that it drives every other store in town out of business. The people of South Park then rally to stop going to the store, and start supporting the local businesses again, but the incredible savings a corporate can offer lures them all back in. What’s the only solution? Burn the store down of course. In this episode, Cartman also bets Stan $5 that you crap your pants when you die.
Cartman: I'm afraid not, Kyle! Wall-Mart is a great store! I could not let you fools ruin its terrific bargains! You see, I was working for Wall-Mart all along!
Kyle: I knew you were!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did! I said from the beginning that you would do this!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: No you didn't.
Kyle: Yes I did!!
Cartman: ... You see, Kyle, it was me who slashed the bu-
Kyle: -slashed the bus tires in Arkansas! I said so! I told you the minute that I and I told you that-
Cartman: (plugs his ears) I can't hear you! Lalalalalala! I'm sorry, boys. but if you want to hurt the Wall*Mart, you'll have to go through me!
Kyle: We don't have time for this! Kenny, keep him away from us!
Cartman: Very well, Kenny! Let us battle! (Kenny begins punching Cartman) No, Kenny. Kenny! Knock it off!
Randy: *shopping late at night* I just needed to get a glass...and maybe... some chips.
Ginger Kids - Season 9, Episode 10
Cartman gives a presentation on Ginger Kids at school, who he claims suffer from “Gingervitus”, and that they have no soul. He then tells of the Daywalker breed of Ginger Kid, who doesn’t have freckles or pale skin. He uses Kyle as an example, who gets angry, and convinces Stan and Kenny to help him turn Cartman into a Ginger Kid. Cartman then takes advantage of his situation, and turns the Ginger Kids into a pack of racists.
Kyle: It's not a presentation, it's a hate speech! People aren't creeped out by gingers!
Clyde: [looks around] I am.
Cartman: The sun's rays are bad for my skin, so I need to be protected when I'm outside. Well, I'm glad we've gotten all that out of the way, and now we can just go on with our lives as normal.
Kyle: Wow, that's a little ironic, isn't it?
Cartman: What do you mean, Kyle?
Kyle: Well, I mean, all last week you were ripping on ginger kids and now you are one.
Cartman: I don't really see the irony in that, Kyle.
Here Comes The Neighbourhood - Season 5, Episode 12
The children have to give a speech at school, and when Token does his, they make fun of him for being rich. Token then wishes that more rich kids like him would come to town. They do, but they are also all black, as it’s people such as Snoop Dogg and Will Smith who move to South Park. The poorer (white) residents of South Park end up trying to drive out the richer (Black) residents out of town.
Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares
Guys: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park
Mr. Marsh: Yeah you'll become what you hate
Mr. Garison: ........Yeah but atleast I got rid of all those damn nigg[South Park ending theme]
Jimbo: How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They can hire someone to screw it in for them!
Marjorine - Season 9, Episode 9
The boys discover that the girls have a device that can see into the future, and they decide that they must have it. To do this, they are going to have to sneak a boy into a slumber party, and in order to do this, they are going to have to fake his death. Of course, Butters is chosen, and the next day a girl called Marjorine (Butters) shows up at the school. She gets invited to the slumber party. Meanwhile, some crazy stuff happens with Butters being buried in an old Indian burial ground. Butters then steals the future telling device, and goes home to tell his parents that he is alive, but when he gets there, they think he is possessed and lock him in the basement.
Cartman: Now, Butters, we don't know exactly what it is girls do at slumber parties, but if they all start, you know, lezzing out, just roll with it.
Butters: Lezzing out? What's lezzing out?
Butters: [tied up in basement] Mom, Dad, can I come upstairs now?
Butters' Dad: Sorry, son, but you're a demon spawn now. You're an abomination
Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow - Season 9, Episode 8
Stan and Cartman are playing in a speed boat, when they decide to actually drive it, they then crash it into a giant beaver damn, flooding the town of Beaverton. The boys keep it a secret that they caused the flood, whilst the rest of the state believes it was global warming. The episode is a big parody to The Day After Tomorrow movie.
Stan: Somebody's gonna help the people off their, their rooftops, right?
Randy: That's not important right now, son. What's important is figuring out whose fault this is.
Reporter: We're not sure what exactly is going on inside the town of Beaverton, uh, Tom, but we're reporting that there's looting, raping, and yes, even acts of cannibalism.
Anchorman: My God, you've, you've actually seen people looting, raping and eating each other?
Reporter: No, no, we haven't actually seen it Tom, we're just reporting it.
Chinpokomon - Season 3, Episode 11
The boys have discovered Chinpokomon and they can’t get enough of them. They get their parents to buy them everything Chinpokomon, including a new videogame that has begun brainwashing them into bombing Pearl Harbor. When the government seems incapable of doing anything about it, the parents must come up with a solution to save their children and the country
Kyle's Dad: You see, son, fads come and go. And this "Chin-po-ko Mon" is obviously nothing more than a fad. You don't have to be a part of it. In fact, you can make an even stronger statement by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part of this fad, because I'm an individual." Do you understand?
Kyle: Yes. Yes, I do, Dad. Now let me tell you how it works in the real world. In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon, or I can be the only kid without one, which singles me out, and causes the other kids to make fun of me and kick my ***.
Kyle's Dad: Hmm. Good point; here's $10.
Bill Clinton: My fellow Americans, I wish to address the concerns many of us have over the growing number of Japanese military bases forming in the United States. The new Japanese emperor, Hirohito, has made our own children into fighter pilots who will soon fly to Hawaii and attack Pearl Harbor. I spoke with Mr. Hirohito this morning, and he assured me that I have a very large penis. He said it was mammoth, dinosauric, and absolutely dwarfed his penis, which, he assured me, was nearly microscopic in size. My penis, he said, was most likely one of the biggest on the planet. I applaud Mr. Hirohito in his honesty. Thank you.
The Wacky Molestation Adventure - Season 4, Episode 16
So that he can attend the “Raging Pussies” concert, Kyle calls the police and accuses his parents of "molestering" him. Soon all the children have called the police on their parents and they are the only ones left populating the town. When a couple breaks down while passing through town they find themselves in a town divided, one side Treasure Cove is controlled by Stan and Kyle, the other “Smiley Town” is controlled by Cartman. Meanwhile, the children’s parents get the help they need to keep them from sexually abusing their children.
Cartman: Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! i'm telling my parents that i'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah!
Stan: Dude! Guess what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?