Recorded a song..

[Visti]

It's on my soundclick: http://www.soundclick.com/visti - The March

I would like some comments on what I could improve in the vocal area, because I'm not a guitarist and I'm getting someone else to lay down the final stuff of that, I know it's pretty dodgy now..

Mainly, I feel the overdubs are certainly lacking and I had no idea what is doing in the end there, but comment and critique away.


And for the record.. I hadn't heard the song Layla at all before the similarity was pointed out..

[Laetus]

Lets see..
First of all - there are some backing vocals or something.. And I feel like going on a kill-sprea when I hear it. Get rid of it, fast - and it's a very rare thing that I say something should be completely removed. But it's horrible.

But well.. You said you wanted to know what you could improve on the vocal front.. And there's a lot, so you'll get it in a listed format.

#1
If you can not control a falsetto avoid the falsetto - and you can't control it, or it certainly appears like that.

#2
The 'stop' vocal thingy in the first verse.. Hold the tone.

#3
And now something in Danish.. Lær at 'forme' orderne. Ved ikke hvor meget du ved om det udtryk, men sagt lige ud, så er det udtalen. Glem alt om din danske dialekt og vær 100% engelsk.. Ellers lyder det meget uproffesionelt.

#4
Open up your voice. Stand up, hands on your stomach and give it some power.

#5
To avoid the layla comparison thing, simply re-construct the chorus vocally. Don't think it'll be too difficult.

#6
A problem in general is that you can sing, but you lack practice.

In general about the song.. Like the simplicity and the intro. I miss the fact that it never really goes.. Um, in lack of a better word - hard.
Hope you can use this for something. :p

[Visti]

Certainly can and of course, it's always a nice surprise to see someone from Denmark. I certainly lack practice, this being my first vocal song ever recorded. I'm looking into getting some vocal lessons, but it's pretty hard to find a private teacher in my area (Aalborg)

But again, I really appreciate the critique. All really valid points.

[Laetus]

I'm looking into getting some vocal lessons, but it's pretty hard to find a private teacher in my area (Aalborg)

Not to mention extremely expensive regardless of where you are in the country. :p

[Ellx]

It was too close to layla for me to listen to it, so i just started listening to the original, layla. So I don't really have any comments.