New Rock Song: "Shock Seduction".. crits appreciated

[Vood]

Here's the song in full quality mp3:

David J Murphy - Shock Seduction (http://www.davidjmurphy.net/downloads/DavidJMurphy-ShockSeduction.mp3)

This song is a classic rock -inspired (ish) 'ballad' of sorts about the strain on sanity one experiences in the fully ripened bloom of ambiguously unrequited love. :D

My production isn't fabulous on this one ... it's a little cluttered... Anyone have an ear for what I can do to open it up, mixing-wise?

or whatever you think... (hmm maybe if i could clean up the drum sound in the recording process, the rest would fall into place... cymbals are too loud i think, among other thigns...)

All comments/crits are appreciated :)

enjoy!

-david

[Ruining]

Nice job on this one. I'll , (hopefully be writing a crit on this one tomorrow. i'm diggin' it, but the 3 Unisom I tookare starting to kick in a little. Sleepy-time. like it or not.

[Vood]

:lol:

:thumb:

[hawkstr12]

I would agree that the cymbals are too loud, and the mix does sound a bit cluttered.

Perhaps you could work with the bass level and EQ so that it's a little less muddy. Also, try panning the rhythym guitar and backing vocals to different areas.

I'm no expert, but those are my two cents. I think it's still a great job recording and mixing, and it's a good song.:chug:

[Vood]

Interesting idea . .. yeah I do think that the lows and low-mids are a problem ... i'll try thinning that out and separating the vocals and rhythm guitar more . .. sounds like it could work pretty well :)

thanks! i'm glad you like it :D
thanks for listening guys!

-david

[SinDC]

...needs an intro and the guitar is mmmish wether thats in the mix or what ever is beyond me i dont do the technical part of music :P but get the distortion good, a little bit more on the guitar and intro and itll be good :D

[Wannabe Steve Harris]

I have a strange affinity for this song but at the same time I don't think it's that great. I don't really know how to explain it, I think it reminds me of something that I like a little. Keep in mind that I have a lot of respect for anyone who writes/records their own music so when I say "it's not that great" it means within the realm of things I already have a lot of respect for.

I think fattening the song up with some more diverse musical elements might help as well. Keep working at it, I know my band thinks just about everything we do sucks so we keep plugging away and try to get better.

[Vood]

wow thanks for the crits guys! :D

SinDC, what kind of intro do you hear for it? like slow melodic something? or one of those brief bunch of 8th note chord thrashes before stuff kicks in? :p

WSH, very interesting.. thanks!! ... that's like .. flattering but still critical. hahah i like it :D

thanks again for the crits! i'll stick those into the equation :thumb:

-david