Malleable

[-axiom-]

nevermind dags lol ;)

[over_bends]

It just seems like you're saying the same exact message each line, but just changing the phrasing. Very weak dynamic and the entire message is grasped just within the intro. It reads off to me to be more of a speech than a song. Imagery is weak and I don't see any other literary device in action. Poor effort, but keep working at it.

[slack]

The first couple lines in verse two repeat what was already said in verse one.The blind man lacks your precious sightThis is redundant.

Don't be such a fool and believe everything you see
The less you see and more you think is justifiably
The only thing that will make you look less like foolExpand on these ideas if you can, or just keep these lines and clip the rest from the verse.

The intro and chorus are both weak; personally, I would clip them both. If you are determined to have a chorus, then I would try and combine the existing chorus with the bridge. The lines in the bridge are a bit too ... prosey, too explanatory, so I'd suggest a rewrite.

The main problem I see is that the two verses and the bridge (assuming you clip the rest) each nearly cover ground that's already been covered. It would've been nice to have seen one idea in the first verse, and then a different, complementary idea in the second.

It needs to be elaborated on; it's far too repetitive as is.

Poem with suggested cuts:Malleable

The eyes are a contradiction of the mind
And the mind is influenced by what you see
The blind man sees more than you think
And thinks more than you know

Don't be such a fool and believe everything you see
The less you see and more you think is justifiably
The only thing that will make you look less like fool

Sometimes when you look out your front door or when you turn on the tv
Your eyes send to your mind a canard.
These unauthentic images flood your mind
Deteriorating your imagination and your ability to think