Beautiful Nightmares (first song, take it easy)

[GreenIsNotYourEnemy]

This a song/poem about dreams that are so good that you are angry they aren't real and dont like having them because of that. please critique :)

Beautiful Nightmares

Each and every single night
Before I go to bed
I sit, afraid of what's to come
The dreams I know I'll dread
'Cause they're what's causing all the ache
The spinning in my head
And although they do not kill me
I do feel as if I'm dead

And these beautiful nightmares
Haunt me each and every day
'Cause in them all I feel
All my problems melt away
But as soon as I wake up,
I can see I don't have you
And its so hard to continue
When you know dreams don't come true

And I don't want another dream
No, not one more reminder
If you are not the one for me
I fear I'll never find her
It's painful to remember all the soothing things you said
Alas, tonight, with heavy heart, I start off towards my bed.

[FA]

Hi, welcome to the S7L Forums. Well, the use of good imagery and stuff is kind of lacking and your vocabulary seems it could be better and expanded. One thing that kinda tugged at me was the repetitive use of the word "dream or dreams", yea it's a song about dreams but having to read it or repeat it in my head annoyed me. Nothing toooo out of this world here, you have a great idea here, just use more imagery and metaphors to make this poem much better. Eh, sorry for the worthless critique, but you said take it easy...etc ****it, u get it aye?

[GreenIsNotYourEnemy]

Thanks, dude. i know its nothin much but i'm startin to get into this junk. practice makes perfect, i guess lol