...Stab Someone That Cares (Crit 4 Crit- just leave a link)

[Dinosawesome]

...Stab Someone That Cares
I'm going out on a limb here for you-
Assuming for once that you're actually listening.
An evident difference compared to those talks,
So one sided, so one sided.
Hold back, shut up- I'm not done talking.
Save your meddling for the bank, it's not that hard.
Maybe when mind games are in order.
You can charge it to your master card.

I'm not laughing.
You're just bitching.
From here it's clear
Your knife hand's itching.
...Stab someone that cares.

I've had to take some days off this week.
Can I borrow some excuses? It seems you're the expert.
You're talking yourself up on a daily basis,
It's not a low-blow when you're perfect.
Are you so perfect? Just that perfect?
Insults bounce off you as fast as truth.
It's odd the compliments sink in that much faster.
But not as fast as your faded youth.

I'm not laughing.
You're just bitching.
From here it's clear
Your knife hand's itching.
...Stab someone that cares.

Call me clichéd,
I'm that predictable
It wont mean much
Your every syllable-
Is as meaningless as the one before.
You're as meaningless as you ever were.
But I'm not laughing.
You're just bitching.
From here it's clear
Your knife hand's itching.
...Stab someone that cares.

[rossini]

lol

[jb6oclock]

ditto

[Ruining]

What kind of tune will this be going to? It's hard to give a good crit without know what the musical mood will be.

They seem fine just like they are, but I'd give them more of a look trhough if I knew what your overall goal would be. These would be fine like they are for kind of a heavier-riffed metal kind of thing. If the tune is going to rely more on the flow of the lyrics there may be something else that you could do with them.

The overall idea is obvious, but I'm just curious who these would be written for. Ex or a friend or someone older in an authority kind of position?

At first read they seem like typical teen angst kind of lyrics that won't stike much of a bond with the listener that isn't in that kind of a mind frame. Not like they are really abstract, but they are a specific kind of idea that really needs to be approached with someone specific in mind to acheive the anger/resentment you are asking for from a reader instead of a listener.

Just curious and just my .02 cents.

Let me know... i could probably give a fair crit if I knew some more about the work.

Blue (http://musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11659274#post11659274)... don't know if this crit is return-worthy, but let me know... i'd love to get going on this one for you.

...Stab Someone That Cares
I'm going out on a limb here for you-
Assuming for once that you're actually listening.
An evident difference compared to those talks,
So one sided, so one sided.
Hold back, shut up- I'm not done talking.
Save your meddling for the bank, it's not that hard.
Maybe when mind games are in order.
You can charge it to your master card.

I'm not laughing.
You're just bitching.
From here it's clear
Your knife hand's itching.
...Stab someone that cares.

I've had to take some days off this week.
Can I borrow some excuses? It seems you're the expert.
You're talking yourself up on a daily basis,
It's not a low-blow when you're perfect.
Are you so perfect? Just that perfect?
Insults bounce off you as fast as truth.
It's odd the compliments sink in that much faster.
But not as fast as your faded youth.

I'm not laughing.
You're just bitching.
From here it's clear
Your knife hand's itching.
...Stab someone that cares.

Call me clichéd,
I'm that predictable
It wont mean much
Your every syllable-
Is as meaningless as the one before.
You're as meaningless as you ever were.
But I'm not laughing.
You're just bitching.
From here it's clear
Your knife hand's itching.
...Stab someone that cares.