Gift Of Sight

[DazedMountainTop]

Transcend into the most brilliant of nights
Numb yourself and succumb to thee
Broken are the dressers that hold your secrets
Will you spend one more night with me?

The merchant of the unqualified steps upon the stone
Belittle the childish adults into believing their fears
It’s too late, before you were just on time
Far-fetched into hate, justice is a crime

And you, you should’ve been right
But shot down you were, with a gift for sight
The future can’t be told, but my lady is true
The feeling will crawl up your spine before you know what to do

Degrade the fortune tellers that will not flee
Political cyanide infiltrates the public’s keep
The heart will be weakened by the stopping of the veins
Rise up to meet them, rise up with your fellow man

The winds will battle you while you’re asleep
Let them comfort you, no longer will they bleed
Conquest in jeopardy, with my blade at your neck
Touch it willingly; let it be butter for your bread

And you, you should’ve been right
But shot down you were, with a gift for sight
The future can’t be told, but my lady is true
The feeling will crawl up your spine before you know what to do

------------------------

Tear it up.

[jb6oclock]

Gift Of Sight

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Transcend into the most brilliant of nights
Numb yourself and succumb to thee
Broken are the dressers that hold your secrets
Will you spend one more night with me?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^great opening

The merchant of the unqualified steps upon the stone
Belittle the childish adults into believing their fears
It’s too late, before you were just on time
Far-fetched into hate, justice is a crime

And you, you should’ve been right
But shot down you were, with a gift for sight
The future can’t be told, but my lady is true
The feeling will crawl up your spine before you know what to do
^^^^^^^^^^chorus is just a tiny bit off course for me but it's your song and is well written

Degrade the fortune tellers that will not flee
Political cyanide infiltrates the public’s keep <<<<best line I've EVER read
The heart will be weakened by the stopping of the veins
Rise up to meet them, rise up with your fellow man

The winds will battle you while you’re asleep
Let them comfort you, no longer will they bleed
Conquest in jeopardy, with my blade at your neck
Touch it willingly; let it be butter for your bread

And you, you should’ve been right
But shot down you were, with a gift for sight
The future can’t be told, but my lady is true
The feeling will crawl up your spine before you know what to do


You are an excellent writer I enjoyed every word in this, I probably wouldn't change much. There are a couple slow spots that kind of derail you for a split second but overall nice use of metaphors and all around good writing.9.2/10

[DazedMountainTop]

Thank you very much. I don't think it's anywhere near to my best piece of writing, but as long as you enjoyed it, I'm happy.

[DeadReligion]

I'm definetly feelin' this, mah man. Lol. Black dot.