The snow has never been more beautiful.

[PurpleHaze420]

No matter what you do in life... the snow will always fall.
Memories come and go as you gaze upon the crystal flakes.
Leaving you with only a drop of water on your cheek, and a head full of satisfide thoughts.
Its so mysterious, but yet, so calm.

Everyone in the world stops for only a moment, and lifts there head to the air.
And for that split second... your worry free.


eh. It is snowing outside.. and for some reason.. its never been more beautiful. So I just felt like writing. It helps to write.

Take it easy
-Derek

[DeadReligion]

I liked lines 2 and 3, but not the rest...The rest just bored me. Also, you meant "satisfied". Can you check out my "Bagpiper's Epitaph"?

[PurpleHaze420]

Eh, I agree. It was really for me if anything. I know it clashes, and is boring.. but to me its so much more. Thanks for your imput though.

[anti_manifesto]

Not much to it, but I like it. Reminds me of the other day when I was driving home from a friend's house and it was snowing. Sorry I don't have more to say about it.

[atabner]

No matter what you do in life... the snow will always fall.

Fantastic opening line, I really liked it. Definately whet my appetite.

Memories come and go as you gaze upon the crystal flakes.
Leaving you with only a drop of water on your cheek, and a head full of satisfide thoughts.

I'd say slightly weaker that the first line, but still nice. Crystal flakes is a good image. Obvious typo on satisfied.

Its so mysterious, but yet, so calm.

I get what you were trying to say, but I think you copped out of writing a lyric, and just wrote the first thing that came to your head. Not up to the standard of the rest of the piece. Should be It's, not Its.

Everyone in the world stops for only a moment, and lifts there head to the air.
And for that split second... your worry free.

First, typos. there = their, and your=you're. Also, the grammar of the first line is poor, you have an everyone lifting a single head - just doesn't work. Needs re-working. I get what you were trying to say with these two lines, but again it just feels like you didn't spend enough time working on them, making them flow. Good concepts though.

Overall, I liked the beginning, but felt like you really faded out towards the end. I'd love to read a re-write.

Feel free to crit Never-Lasting Love - should be round about page 3 by now.