Saying dumb s*** in between songs

[Jonno]

We' have all heard singers/guitarists at gigs make really stupid jokes to pass the time in between songs...which either gain them respect or drastically lose it...

What jokes that you/band member/a band you watched said during a gig that either got a really huge laugh or a long awkward silence?

Discuss

[Knifeboy]

Most of the time, it's not what you say, it's in the delivery
Electric six' frontman was great at this
"This one is for the girls in the audience... Some of you know who you are" is not exactly the most hilarious sentence ever, but it got people laughing because of his charisma

[irishbasketcase]

my singer once said, "i forget the words, can u guys help me out" , while taking a drink, everyone laughed, then everyone started singing along, not too funny but it got the crowd going,

[Vitriolic Rage]

Dani from Cradle of Filth was funny when I saw them.
"It's a bit annoying with Paul having to keep changing guitars, so we'll just have a little bit of banter in between. I was watching Chronicles of Narnia last night, pretty **** really. Then I sent my grandma her Christmas present....SHaving Ryans Privates".

Mikael from Opeth was pretty funny too.
"Tonight, there is going to be hardcore p0rn, extreme nudity, and some music.........I bet you're not bothered about hearing the music now, hehe"

Just don't tell really ****, overdone, cliched jokes.

[Knifeboy]

Or mattias ia eklundh from Freak Kitceh
*takes a sip from a bottle of water, grimaces* "What's this? *reads on the bottle* oh.. Swedish beer!"

[Merkaba]

"We've been pretty busy lately.....just got off tour with Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears"....

-Me

[basgitarist]

*akward silence*

[Atomic Rain]

"We've been pretty busy lately.....just got off tour with Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears"....

-Me

"omgz duud ur such teh music machinez toolz!"

/ur so booed

[himynameistweek]

we usually just go off the crowd. we respond to them.

[Jude]

Basically just go to an Opeth show, watch what Mike says, and imitate him to the best of your ability.

Although don't overestimate your ability to pull off gay porn jokes.

[Jonno]

When KISS came to play down in Adelaide the Androids were supporting, when they came on at the beginning the lead singer said something like 'hey any of you ladies single'

during the silence that followed, my mate yelled out 'youre a wanker! the huge crowd erupted laughing and the androids guys said '.....thanks, i think i needed that'

0wned

[Aus_rock_god]

Terry Bozio (after every second song) - "Thankyouverymuchgoodnight"

John Lennon - "We ask that everyone sitting in the back seats clap their hands, and everyone up front just rattle their jewelry."

One thing that happened a few weeks ago at a local gig:

The lead singer of a (terrible) band isn't too popular (he's gay). One of the guys in the crowed started yelling "FREAK" at him. He just stopped for a second and said "No, that's a Silverchair song, and we don't know it".

The audience burst into laughter.

[Atomic Rain]

John Lennon - "We ask that everyone sitting in the back seats clap their hands, and everyone up front just rattle their jewelry."


That's good, I like that one.

[Vitriolic Rage]

Basically just go to an Opeth show, watch what Mike says, and imitate him to the best of your ability.

Although don't overestimate your ability to pull off gay animal photographs jokes.
Mike is ****ing funny.

Mikael - "We are here tonight, because we want to **** each and every one of you"

Guy - "A tenner?"

Mikael - "Nah....2 quid, you might be ugly"

[the_uber_penguin]

Bruce Dickinson has some classics.

"Everybody! Hands in the air. By the chinese food stand! Hands in the air! And don't eat that s--t whatever you do!"

"It appears in my madness at the end of that song I broke one of Jannick's guitar strings. Please allow us a break of a few hours while we change it, because it is a well known fact no heavy metal guitarist knows how to change one of his own strings."

[xxstatique]

I forgot what concert this was but:

Random guy from the crowd: "I want your children!!"
Singer: "well, I want at least 32 children, so you and I have a lot of work to do, don't we, boy?"

[Atomic Rain]

Bruce Dickinson has some classics.

"Everybody! Hands in the air. By the chinese food stand! Hands in the air! And don't eat that s--t whatever you do!"

"It appears in my madness at the end of that song I broke one of Jannick's guitar strings. Please allow us a break of a few hours while we change it, because it is a well known fact no heavy metal guitarist knows how to change one of his own strings."

Something old, somehting new..

[DougJI]

"Don't you hate those people who make mindless banter imbetween songs?"

"Theres only 3 types of people in this world, those who spend their time playing music, and those who spend their time in school"

"Ever you do what, classes english are take good".

And one of the worst silences ever, courtesy of me?

"ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?"

.............

[the_uber_penguin]

Something old, somehting new..

Dickinson does have some lame ones though...

"This song goes out to everybody out there..."

[Don't dedicate a song to more people then you can shake hands with. Just a personal gripe of mine]

"...A song set in medieval Scotland..."

[Uh-oh...cheesefest coming on]

"...This song is about Freedom!..."

["It's also a film named Braveheart"]

"...Something which should be something familiar to you all..."

[Some politics thrown in at the end of the speech actually make it good here. I don't mind the cheeseyness to ephasise a point. However, he then throws the effect away on the end with:]

"...but which sometimes is not."

Bruce, you crack me up.