PDA

View Full Version : Holy war...


Buhta
01-19-2006, 10:51 AM
That's not finished...

No war ends without the fallen
Under flag that brought them to Hell
There is no prophecy
For the dying to tell

With mark of freedom burnt on a forehead
Warriors came to save your lives
As for enemies, they liberate
Inquisition-wise

Ref...
Holy war - holy throne
Voices from a world of bones
Holy war - holy death
What the **** is minaret?
Holy war to show his might
For neutral to sit by his side
Holy war - holy throne
WAR!

Suggestions??

Guitar Slayer
01-19-2006, 07:21 PM
i like it i think the first Verse will need a little editing just look it over

Crit my work
http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=435444

Jubella
01-19-2006, 07:55 PM
not so bad, but i think you dont dig enought the subject. and i think it'll be nice if you'd develop more on the imagery cuz i think you can do something very good with it. oh and maybe the first verse is a bit too cliche and foreseeable. but you have a good base, keep working on it and you can really get something great!

BurtonBassist
01-19-2006, 07:58 PM
It's definetly one of the better written songs i've seen today, I don't like the opening line though

DeadReligion
01-19-2006, 08:32 PM
The second part is good, that's about it, IMHO.