Love2Lust
01-19-2006, 12:12 AM
Sup people. I wrote this recently and did some revising. Reading this is alot like reading a coheed song, so its a lil awkward, but thats b/c of the music and meter changes. Anyways, crit it, Ill gladly return crits. Haha, thanks people!
Speechless (The Stars Fall To End Our Lives)
Well you rocket forth like a bullet through a barrel,
And you struck my heart like one of cupids jagged arrows,
And I surely dont know what to say,
I just dont know what to, say,
There falling stars have broken so many others,
But catching their fall has seemed to be better,
For a simple number I will forget all of your letters,
Stating that you now or never, Love,
But can you sit for a while,
as my blood traces white tile?
Can you hear me?
These words I am softly bleeding,
And I surely dont know what to say,
I just dont know what to, say,
The stars are falling,
to the verses and stanzas of our past,
Like Burning embers it settles in an earthbound crash,
The stars are falling,
tearing holes through all of the skies,
and burning blank stares to our eyes,
(its tearing our memory along)
Its tearing our memory along,
And I surely dont know what to say,
I just dont know what to, say,
Cant you come and just sit for a while,
as my weak blood outlines white tiles,
Oh say can you hear me, now,
As these words bleed empty from my, mouth,
(the words they seem amber-red)
And I dont quite know what to say,
(filling tiles with thoughts of the dead)
When love has shred me this way,
And I dont quite know what to say,
(Filling tiles, filling tiles)
as stars fall to end life away,
The stars will only force us til,
away we fade
Speechless (The Stars Fall To End Our Lives)
Well you rocket forth like a bullet through a barrel,
And you struck my heart like one of cupids jagged arrows,
And I surely dont know what to say,
I just dont know what to, say,
There falling stars have broken so many others,
But catching their fall has seemed to be better,
For a simple number I will forget all of your letters,
Stating that you now or never, Love,
But can you sit for a while,
as my blood traces white tile?
Can you hear me?
These words I am softly bleeding,
And I surely dont know what to say,
I just dont know what to, say,
The stars are falling,
to the verses and stanzas of our past,
Like Burning embers it settles in an earthbound crash,
The stars are falling,
tearing holes through all of the skies,
and burning blank stares to our eyes,
(its tearing our memory along)
Its tearing our memory along,
And I surely dont know what to say,
I just dont know what to, say,
Cant you come and just sit for a while,
as my weak blood outlines white tiles,
Oh say can you hear me, now,
As these words bleed empty from my, mouth,
(the words they seem amber-red)
And I dont quite know what to say,
(filling tiles with thoughts of the dead)
When love has shred me this way,
And I dont quite know what to say,
(Filling tiles, filling tiles)
as stars fall to end life away,
The stars will only force us til,
away we fade