Cereal Without Milk

[slickathenyou]

Verse 1
I woke up late by personal standards
Twelve hour nap, it never hurts to
Turn on TV, dont like what I see
But I'll watch anyway

Verse 2
Flip the channel with the clicker
At commercial, I never stick to
One TV show, ready set go
But I'll watch anyway

Chorus
Marathon! Of nothing I want
Nothing I need
Nothing that really interests me-o-my
Never gonna cry
Never watch reality
Til the day I die

Verse 2
I dont wanna watch any reality
Or sitcoms that make me sick
Theres always Friends, it never ends
But I'll watch anyway

[slickathenyou]

Hey, can somebody crit this before it dies?

[Tyrion]

Verse 1
I woke up late by personal standards
Twelve hour nap, it never hurts to
Turn on TV, dont like what I see
But I'll watch anyway

Verse 2
Flip the channel with the clicker
At commercial, I never stick to
One TV show, ready set go
But I'll watch anyway

Chorus
Marathon! Of nothing I want
Nothing I need
Nothing that really interests me-o-my
Never gonna cry
Never watch reality
Til the day I die

Verse 2
I dont wanna watch any reality
Or sitcoms that make me sick
Theres always Friends, it never ends
But I'll watch anyway

I didn't see much of a point to the poem, besides the message of there's little to watch on tv and you don't care. There's not really an interesting hook, unfortunately. 4/10

(And thanks for crit mine.)

[nonamemadox]

yea!
you just described a day in my life. as sad as that is i liked it. didn't realy like the chorus though, sounded like it changed the entire rythem and beat of the song. kinda repetetive to. but it might sound good with the proper instruments behind it.

[Jacob6293]

You put verse 2 twice. That's my only problem.

[slickathenyou]

So generally I appealed to guys who like short meaningless songs? Good, thanks guys. And sorry about the verse 2 thing :)

[morgan_dorffer]

What is this suppose to be about? Is it some dude who lives life without meaning or what? I only really like the first two lines of the chorus. The rest is kinda blah, I'm you were going for a metaphor? I like that method, the message is somewhat clear. Seems to me this person puts up with crap and just hasn't found anything to peak his interests in life. I give it a 6/10.

ang