"paper in-house"

[amped]

it's been so long since i've posted here, but i always remembered having many faithful friends and inspired writers i could communicate with here. you've always offered great advice and i believe there is much of the future's talent in a lot of you.

my band, inbliss, has been working on a new song and finally got it tracked and recorded and ready for whatever it's potential can bring it. it's called "paper in-house," i always said i would share any new music we may release with the forums, and i have. thanks for reading/listening.

love

http://www.purevolume.com/inbliss

inspired and untamed,
the fire that we made.
our hearts were burnt.
devastated, we can't believe it.

i'm selling memories.
i'm screaming in the streets.
my voice is drained, ineffective.
she's unaffected.
just know, i won't go away.

i'm raising energies
i didn't even know i had in me.
i've given everything to the song i sing
that plays whether or not you are listening.

don't you think i know
the consequence of throwing time away?
come to the show,
an audience of people i've betrayed.

the curtain rises.
the eyes widen.

recall to me
the evidence that proves that this is not a dream.
your eloquence will make or break the moment.

the curtain rises.
the eyes widening.

[gabbahey there we go]

dude... that was sick

[Littlejohn]

i'm selling memories.
i'm screaming in the streets.
my voice is drained, ineffective.
UGH! I loved this part, but you sang "standing in the streets" which ruined it! oh well.

don't you think i know
the consequence of throwing time away?
come to the show,
an audience of people i've betrayed.
I'm sure you realize how bad a$$ that stanza is, but I'll go ahead and tell you again. Anyway, I'm not sure I like the ending bit. "The eyes widening" isn't a very strong ending. It leaves me wanting more. But, meh, whatever.

I love this song. Very Thusday. Very very Thursday. I love Thursday. Anyway, ummm turn up the vocals in the mix and I would buy a copy!

[amped]

hey thanks a lot dudes. we will be rerecording this in the next month, or at least get a chance to go turn up the vocals (which i agree are way too quiet in some parts) while we're tracking the other songs.

thanks again, you guys rock.

[MidnightHysteria]

Aw, man, Casey. I haven't seen you here in years (I was sk8r crus8r back then in case you're wondering how I was on here years ago or how the blue man avatar survived).

You're still writing great stuff. The only thing I have to complain about is the 3rd stanza. I generally don't like songs that refer to themselves and while this doesn't actually do that, it comes dangerously close.

[amped]

hah i actually agree with you there. i had been a bit skeptical about using those words, but i guess i felt it kind of completed the message i wanted to send with the song.

it's cool that you're still around man, thanks for taking the time to read and listen.

[amped]

bump

[I Love Fat women]

I didn't like the recording. It sounds like it's off rythmically at parts. The guitar is slightly behind the beat mostly all the time. Also, you should try raising the tempo a notch, just a wee bit. And perhaps take out some of the guitar parts, I think it would sound a lot better if you just cleaned it up abit. Also, the singer sounds slightly off at times.

The lyrics are quite excellent however.

[MidnightHysteria]

fun idea: have the drums play double-time in the last chorus.

[amped]

there are only 2 guitar parts, and yes, the delay on the guitar seemed to not match as well as it could have with tempo of the click track.

the whole song itself is shaky in many, many ways. it was a timed recording for a school i am attending, and was recorded at arlen studios (pantera/sublime). we frankly didn't know the song as well as we should have to record it, but it was sort of one of those spontanious recordings we had written 3 days beforehand.

in march we will release a new ep to support the tour, in which this song will be rerecorded and placed with a handful of other new songs.

also, i stuck one of the old tunes (before i) from our older record in 2003 on the site as well. since then we have replaced our drummer and bassist, and i now do all the guitar and vocals.

thanks a lot again, any and all support is greatly appreciated.

[DeadReligion]

inspired and untamed,
the fire that we made.
our hearts were burnt.
devastated, we can't believe it.
^ Hmm, for some reason I really really like this. I like the reference to fire in songs, I suppose.


i'm selling memories.
i'm screaming in the streets.
my voice is drained, ineffective.
she's unaffected.
just know, i won't go away.
^ Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. However, the fourth line is a too short...

i'm raising energies
i didn't even know i had in me.
i've given everything to the song i sing
that plays whether or not you are listening.
^ I love the first line. The second isn't as good, but its a continuation of the first. The third, like MH said, comes dangerously close to referencing itself, which I don't like.


don't you think i know
the consequence of throwing time away?
come to the show,
an audience of people i've betrayed.
^ Wow, this is good, however, the know/show rhyme, unintentional or not, sucks.


the curtain rises.
the eyes widen.
^ Well, its a bridge, bridges are usually genious.

recall to me
the evidence that proves that this is not a dream.
your eloquence will make or break the moment.
^ The first two lines aren't all that original, or that good, however, the third one is pretty killer.


the curtain rises.
the eyes widening.
^ Eh, repetition...

Overall, this was extremely good, with the exception of a few little things. 8/10. Heh, always nice to meet/crit an alumni. Anyway, can you crit my "Pious Atheist" please? (It's at the very top...)