the outsider

[Daniel#2]

base on the story by H.P. Lovecaft


"Unhappy is he to whom the memories of childhood bring only
fear and sadness. Wretched is he who looks back upon lone hours
in vast dismal chambers..." Lovecraft


v
Born beneath the earth into the forest of darkness
The trees block the sun and moon like an eclipse
Playing with shadows aside the stone crypts
Knowing only himself beneath the macrocosm

c
For I am the outsider
Exiled to tombs
Where I wonder
Amongst the catacombs
I am bound to roam
By the Nile alone

v
Asending the spire black reaching above the earth
Daylight blinds eyes that have known only darkness
But eyes are blinded by what they do not know
From the depths of the forest he arises to the street

c
For I am the outsider
Exiled to tombs
Where I wonder
Amongst the catacombs
I am bound to roam
By the Nile alone

b
Curiosity
Took him from his home
From exile under the earth
To exile a above
He is a true nomad
Cast out to ramble
For all eternity

v
Into humanity he steps an unkown nomad far from home
Yet humanity shows no humility for the foreigner
The shreaks were shocking as screams from a nightmare
Hope turns to the blackest convulsion of realisation

c
For I am the outsider
Exiled to tombs
Where I wonder
Amongst the catacombs
I am bound to roam
By the Nile alone

[broken_]

i aologise for the brief response, i will try and come back to this when im not in a rush.

i enjoy everything about the piece, except for "the outsider". just wasnt cutting it for me. im not familiar with lovecaft's work so i cant tell if ypu proved it justice or not. but it works with the quote :D

[your_mum]

i havent read any books by lovecraft but those are some good lyrics, how old are the books which that quote is extracted from, it seems a rather antiquated form of english, I give it 9.5/10

[MidnightHysteria]

I haven't read that story either... read a few Lovecraft pieces but could never really get into the style. Anyway, you've got some pretty good imagery in the first couple of verses, and this is good. The chorus isn't spectacular, but is certainly functional. I have to say the brdige is horribly weak as it doesn't really add any information and doesn't have any well-used devices (for that matter, it doesn't have any poorly-used devices either). The third verse is also pretty cool except that it repeats some wordings from the bridge. Thus, I think removing the bridge would make this piece much better.

[Daniel#2]

ok I'll get rid of the bridge. But thanks for the help