Two new songs - Mr Teddykins and Torn

[Laetus]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=449637
(Sorry, I can't deep link)

Mr. Teddykins
A story about paranoid skizophrenia.

Tools:
Line 6 UX1 Toneport
MSN headset microphone
An Ibanez RT150 (1992)
Guitar Pro 4 for bass and drums
Cool Edit Pro 2.0 for recording and mixing
Lyrics by Scott Halsall


Torn
A story about a boy who has murdered his dad and is about to give the same treatment to his mother.

Tools:
Line 6 UX1 Toneport
MSN headset microphone
An Ibanez RT150 (1992)
Guitar Pro 4 for bass and drums
Cool Edit Pro 2.0 for recording and mixing
Lyrics by Scott Halsall

(Please feel welcome to comment on the other songs I have there also)

[Laetus]

Update:

I upgraded to VIP status on soundclick - here's the hardlinks:

Torn
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3215769&q=hi
Mr. Teddykins
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3211598&q=hi

Oh, and comments please. :)

[Laetus]

Wouldn't mind some opinions, critique or well... Just something. :x

[moogoogaipan]

can't help but notice some dissonances that don't even sound in tune.

I'm a guy who loves dissonance, but you gotta keep it in tune.

[Surgicalgod]

The music was good n all, but the vocals sounded like karaoke night at the local bar ;the vocalist was off tune at some parts, and had a couple of bum notes. You definitely need to work on your singing (if you're the vocalist). I guess if you could give the song some more passion vocally it would be a great one!

[Laetus]

moogoogaipan:
Any particular places that you seem to notice the most?

Surgicalgod:
I thought something about the vocals might come up - so allow me to explain. :)

I am the vocalist and I am a vocalist who has been so for the past 12 years.
The problem scenario in the case of my recordings are simply crap equipment - basicly the only good stuff I have is my guitar, Toneport and my computer.

The microphone I use is from a MSN headset, therefore, it's a talk microphone and therefore not one meant for you to sing into. So you can imagine that I do a hell of a lot of mixing just to get a decent sound out.

The singing out of tune stuff.. I'm sitting down and have to constantly remind myself that I can't open up for my voice, 'cause if I did, the microphone would go into overdrive mode and you can imagine how much pop noise and poor sound quality it would give, as we're talking quite a few more db's than what is on the recordings.
If you're a vocalist, you will know, that if you have to sing at a point where your voice doesn't really support it, then you will sing out of tune. And that's the case here, I have to sing at 'speech' volume and not actually sing, quite difficult.

But enough excuses from me hehe.. But I feel like I do have to stress the fact that it's a very poor mic. :)

I'm currently working on getting my hands on a proper mic so that I can update my songs and give you one hell of ride through the vocal stream. ;)

Passion.. Has to wait till I get a better mic aswell. :)

[moogoogaipan]

moogoogaipan:
Any particular places that you seem to notice the most?




The place I notice is the 4th outlined triad in the beginning.. and it's counterpart throughout the song.

you play the first one twice, then the chord changes once and then comes the nasty sounding one. It sounds like a tritone between the bass and the next voice up... it some sort of nasty.

[Laetus]

The place I notice is the third triad from the beginning of the 1st song. You play one chord for two strums, then another chord for 2 strums, then the next chord has an awful sounding note in the bass(not the bass guitar, but the root of the chord). Listen to it real quick and you'll hear that it sounds like an out of tune tri-tone... and tri-tones sound ugly anyway.

You mean Torn?
Well, I play an Asus2, Asus2/F#, E followed by an E/C.
I've tried muting all tracks in Cool Edit, but I can't really hear anything out of tune though. (I can hear that I hit the first E/C's bass tone a little wrong.. Might be it)

[moogoogaipan]

I know exactly what it is. The C from the bassist and G# from the E chord are a minor 6th and that is clashing really badly. Just play those two notes together and listen to what's happening... that'll make it obvious. I just played your progression on the piano and it stood out like a sore thumb.

[Laetus]

I know exactly what it is. The C from the bassist and G# from the E chord are a minor 6th and that is clashing really badly. Just play those two notes together and listen to what's happening... that'll make it obvious. I just played your progression on the piano and it stood out like a sore thumb.

Aah.. But the piano and guitar shouldn't be compared too much if you ask me. :x Try running down the E/C and going up as an Asus2 - gives a nice transition effect in my opinion. :)

I think it may be a taste think though.. I've played the song for quite a lot of people and few has mentioned that they find it out of tune. :)

[moogoogaipan]

well, piano and guitar aren't the same... but on any instrument, tonality is going to sound the same. Plus, I was playing using the guitar setting on a clavinova..(ultra realistic).
anyway, if you're used to it, might as well stick with it. But perhaps move the G# up a half-step to an A. That way it ties in with the beginning of the next phrase and there is not minor 6th.

[Laetus]

well, piano and guitar aren't the same... but on any instrument, tonality is going to sound the same. Plus, I was playing using the guitar setting on a clavinova..(ultra realistic).
anyway, if you're used to it, might as well stick with it. But perhaps move the G# up a half-step to an A. That way it ties in with the beginning of the next phrase and there is not minor 6th.

Hm maybe.. I do like the E/C though. I'll have a go at it when I re-record the vocals once I get a proper mic. :)

[moogoogaipan]

Well you can leave it... if it's what you intended musically then that's how it must remain.
It's just that augmented 7 chords aren't really used in modern tonality.
C - E - G# - B
that's what that chord essentially is.

[Laetus]

Well you can leave it... if it's what you intended musically then that's how it must remain.
It's just that augmented 7 chords aren't really used in modern tonality.
C - E - G# - B
that's what that chord essentially is.

Aye I know.. A reason why I did pick that chord is due to the song lyrics. I mean, the lyrics are about paranoid skizophrenia, so it can't get too happy and 'clean' if you get my drift. As an example, the chorus progression is Aadd9, F, E, F, Add9, F, E, E/C. Which is off scale, as the solo is just a simple A major scale.

[Surgicalgod]

Oh, yeah I know what you mean. Why don't you try lowering the microphone sensitivity (volume) to 0 from the control panel. That's what I did, it still sucks but you can sing your songs better till you get a decent mic. How much do decent mic cost these days? I need to get one aswell.

[Laetus]

Oh, yeah I know what you mean. Why don't you try lowering the microphone sensitivity (volume) to 0 from the control panel. That's what I did, it still sucks but you can sing your songs better till you get a decent mic. How much do decent mic cost these days? I need to get one aswell.

It would still generate a lot of pops.. It's a pity really, 'cause the mic is very low on noise - but it just isn't built for this. I just borrowed two mics, a Shure SM58 and a Shure Beta 87A, now I just got to get them working with Toneport.

Quite hard to say what a good mic is though or how much it costs.. Because it all depends on what you need it for, how you sing, how high or low, other equipment you use etc. etc.. I've never gone wrong with mics from Shure though - but say, something like the SM58 works best for live performance than in studios - in my opinion.
My problem is just getting the crap to work haha.. :p

For around $100 you can find a decent mic I think.

[Laetus]

An update for Mr Teddykins.

I re-did the singing of the tune as a test with the Shure SM58 I borrowed. This is only a test recording, so it'll be re-done again with better singing and more passion. :p

http://www.geocities.com/zapius666/Teddykin2.mp3

What I need is for you to comment on the levels.. The volume on the vocals in comparison to the instruments. The sound of the vocals. (Not if I sing it off note or on.. But the sound itself) Also, please tell me what you heard it with - computer monitors or headphones(headset). Exact name of the comp monitors or headphones. (If you do not know the name.. Just skip this one)

[Laetus]

Ok... I re-made Torn from top to buttom.
http://www.geocities.com/zapius666/TornNearFinal.mp3

Tools used:
L6 Toneport UX1
Ibanez RT150
Shure SM58 mic
Fruityloops Studio 5
Cool Edit Pro 2

Things to note:
I sing out of tune in the first few parts of the song and a little in the middle.. I know and it will be fixed in the final version. (The final version will cost money on soundclick though)
The solo will probably be remade.
Not uploaded on song click as it isn't final.
Took the advise of Moogoogaipan and moved the G# in the C/E chord up a half step.


P.s
If you didn't know.. Everything is done by myself with the exception of the lyrics where Scott Halsall has all credit.

[Laetus]

Would be lovely if people would tell me what they think of Torn now. :)

(Do remember to pay attention to the note in my other post.. Some things about the recording that I already am aware of)

Oh, and I uploaded it at soundclick: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=3215769&q=hi