my first song ever

[Warhawk24]

this is the first song ive ever written. i know it needs a lot of work

"Cold Weather Sucks"

Wakeup monday already late
I run to my car and start to scrape
Forgot my books, thats just great
Doors froze shut, thats like a kick in the nuts
God damnit, cold weather really sucks

Cold weather sucks theres no doubt about it
The sun is shining, but its still cold out
Hey look im smoking, wait thats my breath
Only 4 months till summer, now thats the best

A foot of snow and my car wont move
Ahh what the hell we still have school?
Shovel the driveway, salt the sidewalk
Face frozen, and can hardly talk
My oh my does cold weather suck

Cold weather sucks theres no doubt about it
The sun is shining, but its still cold out
Hey look im smoking, wait thats my breath
Only 4 months till summer, now thats the best

Oh boy, a snow drift, that looks sweet
****, this time looks like we might be beat
Stuck for hours, digging and digging
But we just sit there spinning and spinning
Friends come to the rescue, but have no luck
Screw this ****, cold weather sucks

[MidnightHysteria]

This truly made me lol. If that's what you were going for, good job.

[Warhawk24]

haha yeah thats kinda what i was hoping for it, but do you think it would work at all as a song of the punk variety

also it seems like my song is a little change of pace from all the serious and sad songs on here lol

[the oddball]

Good lyrics lol. If you want it to be a punk type song then go ahead and sign it like that lol sorry that I'm not to much help I'm really just getting started with songs and stuff, sorry. but i'll give it a 9.5/10.

[i_need_therapy_17]

good job...i liked it it kept me interested and flowed pretty good...finally something that i can read without being overbeared by complexity...i like the simple writing style and being your first song its good..id give it a 7/10

[Agrim]

:lol: That was funny. I'm drunk, but that was funny.

I live in colorado and cold weather does ****ing suck.

[Warhawk24]

thanks for the crits, keep em comin, ill start getting to some of your songs

[forever_favored]

yea i can't stand cold weather...it's probably gonna snow down here...in ATLANTA!!! wtf is that i can't even take the cold anymore i've lived in the south for so long...total bs but anyway...yea i like it it made me laugh and stuff lookin forward to readin more of ur stuff...yea alright POP and don't forget to crit one or 2 of mine! :thumb:

[drumass04]

If I'm crit'ing this from a critics point of view, I think you would get about 3/10.

But as everyone else has said, it's strangely good. It isn't really my normal style, and I wouldn't usually read something like it. But hey, good work. I think it would be the perfect punk song (don't take that as an insult :P)

I'd probably give you 6.5/10, for laughs.

[i_need_therapy_17]

when the last guy said he'll give ya a 3/10 on a critics point of view i disagree. it was good, made people laugh, and people enjoyed it. Its so stupid that people would give you such a low score because you can understand it. He wants you to use big words people cant read and metaphors other people dont understand but yet he liked the song? Id say screw the crits point of view and go with your own opinon cause thats what its really about. you also notice how he didn't tell you how to change it? If your gonna gives him a crits "point of view" then tell him whats wrong with it.

[GreendayIdiot]

its need to rhyme more but its a good idea and many ppl can relate 2 it including me.

[Warhawk24]

bump

[yourstruly]

nice song, I knew it would be a punk song part of the way through reading it. Good work :)

[Neamhtrocaireach]

Definitley punk.... 8.5/10

[DeadReligion]

7 for the amusement, 3 for content. Anyway, yeah this is NOFX kind of punk I think. Heh, Fat Mike always amused me.

[aznrocker]

Haha I like it. Especially the "Hey I'm smoking, no wait that's my breath" Haha.

[TojesDolan]

I only found the first one really amusing. The rest is fine, but not comedic enough. Good if that was the purpose. :)

[deadwith0utmusic]

lol. i dont have cokld weather much, and we have off school if theres like one flake of snow butit was really funny.

[spongebath01]

It's pretty funny. It definatly shows your age though (references to school).
Nice work though