Orange Sherbert and Tuna Sandwiches

[kimmiekilla]

It's called creative license
I'll write what I want
I'm not creative
nor do I have a license
I'll still write what I want

If you say any of this makes sense
you are so obvioulsy lying
There's no reason to my ryhme
there isn't even ryhme

Fvck trying
to spread a message
you'd never get the point
I'd rather spread disease then
you'll know what hit you

[MidnightHysteria]

The first three stanzas were actually kind of clever, but after that it got kind of lame with all the empty threats and cliché insults.

[kimmiekilla]

heh yeah cause I'm cool like that

[DeadReligion]

I agree with MH, also, the title seems REALLY random. And, after verse 3, I don't like the message at all.

[white_riot]

I have to agree with the others, the first three verses were kinda cool but after that it went downhill. Try to rewrite it after verse 3.

[schwypees]

Did you get tired after three stanzas and pay a fourth grader to finish it for you? What happened?

[kimmiekilla]

the title seems REALLY random.
I couldn't think of a title so I just named it what I happend to be eating at the time


I honestly dunno what happened...I'm not the greatest writer in the world :eek:



ta-da...better?