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View Full Version : Orange Sherbert and Tuna Sandwiches


kimmiekilla
12-09-2005, 03:16 AM
It's called creative license
I'll write what I want
I'm not creative
nor do I have a license
I'll still write what I want

If you say any of this makes sense
you are so obvioulsy lying
There's no reason to my ryhme
there isn't even ryhme

Fvck trying
to spread a message
you'd never get the point
I'd rather spread disease then
you'll know what hit you

MidnightHysteria
12-09-2005, 07:25 AM
The first three stanzas were actually kind of clever, but after that it got kind of lame with all the empty threats and cliché insults.

kimmiekilla
12-09-2005, 02:32 PM
heh yeah cause I'm cool like that

DeadReligion
12-09-2005, 02:38 PM
I agree with MH, also, the title seems REALLY random. And, after verse 3, I don't like the message at all.

white_riot
12-09-2005, 02:48 PM
I have to agree with the others, the first three verses were kinda cool but after that it went downhill. Try to rewrite it after verse 3.

schwypees
12-09-2005, 05:03 PM
Did you get tired after three stanzas and pay a fourth grader to finish it for you? What happened?

kimmiekilla
12-09-2005, 11:47 PM
the title seems REALLY random.
I couldn't think of a title so I just named it what I happend to be eating at the time


I honestly dunno what happened...I'm not the greatest writer in the world :eek:



ta-da...better?