Crit my latest peice please (w/ audio!)

[Matn]

So.. this is my latest song.. pretty cliché , I now but.. well.. please crit :P I've also included audio ( It sucks, but it will do fine for this purpose) so you get to know the melody. :D
http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?PID=690673&t=1928


(Intro)

Verse
Could I think about any one but you
Could I think about any thing at all
You are the only one for me of that I am sure
I'm not sure you understa-a-and

Bridge
So I lost myself again
So I lost myself to you

Chorus
You and I
I always miss you
Seing you is like a blessing now
I can touch the sky
Our love has taken us there

Verse
I'll always be there with you
I'll always be, no matter what
They never cared for you the way that I do
I'm not sure they understa-a-and

Bridge
So I lost my-self again
So I lost myself to you

Chorus
You and I
I always miss you
Seing you is like a blessing now
I can touch the sky
Our love has taken us there

(Solo)

Chorus
You and I
I always miss you
Seing you is like a blessing now
I can touch the sky
Our love has taken us there

You and I

[I Love Fat women]

Try not to overdrive your mic so ****ing much, it's clipping like hell. Also, there's no singing in the recording.

[HitHardDrums55]

the music is nice...lyrics seem like theyd fit well too...i'd like to hear this when the singing is in the song as well

[TojesDolan]

The lyrics are awfully simplistic. That's the best I can say about it. Sounds a lot like there's some Chevelle influence there. I didn't like the simplicity, but I'm not attacking it either.

[HitHardDrums55]

i just really payed attention to if they'd fit...they do...thats good enough for me for the style of music as long as you're a good singer

[Matn]

Try not to overdrive your mic so ****ing much, it's clipping like hell. Also, there's no singing in the recording.

This is actually from Guitar Pro 5.0, so what can you expect? Even though it's generated from RSE, it's kinda bad. And yes, there's no singing, although the melody that's supposed to be sung is still there, if you missed it.. I thought it would be easier to judge if you had both the melody and the lyrics..

Thanks everyone else for your.. criticism

[Matn]

bump

[DeadReligion]

Simplistic and cliche...sorry. I can however, relate to it, so that does make it a bit more bearable. Anyway, just check out the suggestion thing I posted...