tytf... needs some work... be harsh

[gabbahey there we go]

its called tytf (trust your trigger finger) i know its sorta cheesy, but wutever, if the lyrics seem to be really lacking, its probably cuz of the fact that they take a bit of a back seat to the instrumentals at that point,


Birds scatter and shriek as stray bullets find their unhappy homes
But violence wont wake you, can you not face the morning alone

ohhhh...

Why must you run
When theres no one to chase you
You don’t cry cuz your scared
But What else could you do?

(chorus)
So you leave it to chance
It decides who lives who dies
And now that you have become god
Wipe the tears away from your eyes

trust your trigger finger yeah, theres pressure allright so take aim, well soon show theres much more to glory than fame cuz who can you trust anyway

Don’t worry, don’t shoot,
The blame lays in your hands
Now you just cant decide
So Watch where the coin lands

Birds scatter and shriek as stray bullets find unhappy homes
But violence wont wake you, can you not face the morning alone

ohhhh...

chorus

Who can be trusted, me? No
Who can be trusted, them? No
Who can be trusted, you? No

So trust your trigger finger

there you go, crit for crit, be harsh

[Hutch306]

I don't know man. I just don't like it. I can't crit piece by piece because I don't know enough about grammar and the mechanics of poetry, but I don't know. It just doesn't seem to fit well for me.

[MidnightHysteria]

I love the imagery of the first line, but the rest is bland. There's nothing really exciting in it.