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View Full Version : not the greatest but still crit please...


forever_favored
11-28-2005, 08:43 PM
yea well i'm working on this and i figured before i decided to go through writing more verses and lifts and stuff i would see if there is anything to change (always is) and if it's really worth saving...if you say it's empty it probably is cuz i just kinda wrote it like o idk 2-3 minutes ago...anyway here it is:

no name

deep in fatuation
with the older, darker ages
and a taste for somethinginhumanely evil
yea, an uncontrolled obsession
with the arts of soul possession
and the acts in which can drive the crazy civil

i'm not talking bout spells and withes
or anythng along those lines
nothing to do with 3 free wishes
not a thing to do with the divine

i'm talkin bout love
and the power it holds over the weak
i'm talkin bout lust
and the way it leads you to the fall
shows no mercy
though it's hardly asked for
gives no pity
the fallen always come for more
it's the---
temptation

yea so that's all i have for that at the moment...and it could be all i'll ever have for it if it sux bad enuff lol later people!