Life was so much better when you were a God...

[ShakeyAir]

Life was so much better when you were a God...

Lights, camera, action
Can you see our intentions?
Malicious, inconspicuous
Your ankles are giving us-
All the blue blood we need
For our eyes to roll
And our souls to roam
Freely away
From the chemical cage we call a head
After all what good is your life if you don't obsess
Over someone that's actually
Living
Living

Dead

I swear I met you yesterday
But you weren't the person you used to be
Machine gun eyes, colored in the lines
By this sarcastic sacrifice

Introduce my itchy trigger finger
I'll snap you behind these shallow shutters
I'd just love to see you try to leave
This prison that you built around yourself
With greed
You want to pretend you're one of us?
Fine. But your actings not as good as it seemed

I swear I met you yesterday
But you weren't the person you used to be
Machine gun eyes, colored in the lines
By this sarcastic sacrifice

Lights, camera, action
Can you see our intentions?
Malicious, inconspicuous
Your ankles are giving us-
All the blue blood we need
For our eyes to roll
And our souls to roam
Freely away
From the chemical cage we call a head
After all what good is your life if you don't obsess
Over these fogged, cracked, calloused reflections
Of what they think is going on in our heads
Deep down we'll see that your not human
You're really living
Barely living

Dead

Haven't been on too much, sorry guys. Crit for crit. Tear this thing apart...

[Jubella]

I think I got the idea of the poem but i'm not so sure of it. Witch is something that I like. Your writing is good, and there's only few things that i dislike.

"From the chemical cage we call a head" = the metaphor is good, but why are you telling us exactly what it means? I'd prefer if you didn't precise what chemical cage means exactly. With another brief description, we can easily get it by ourselves. Overall it's a good poem. Maybe you should try to go more on the image that you want to create. It's a bit too narrative i think. But it's a good poem. I'd give you a 7.5/10