Need crit for Metal Song

[JonnyboyM151]

Brutality

Charge into the fray
Flesh of bodies burn and splay

Ride your anger
Annhialation
Incapacitaion
Decapitation
Hide your hope


Ghosts of crime
rise inside me
Let me a bane
of my enemy

Brutal

Chaos

In the fields of hell
Waves of violence feed the swell

Unleash Brutality
On the foes of old
discipline your hatred
intensify your death
turn the land to red
end oppositions breath

Raise the dust
charge the field
free your bloodlust
never yield

honor code
close the lock
the clock tocks
on your life's road

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

Wow, I'm speechless.

[Borkola]

Quite good, I don't have any problems with it.

[AntiSocial]

I dont listen to much metal, but it sounds like you nailed it on the head. I really like that last line.

Ride your anger
Annhialation
Incapacitaion
Decapitation
Hide your hope

In my opinion, I think this part needs alittle flow unless your singin super fast. Other than that nice work.

[JonnyboyM151]

Thanks for the crit, hey all you other people who are active, My names john, i like it when lots of people give me answers. It would be highly beneficial to you to reply, i have cookies