I've been writing a lot lately

[markxander]

As the thread title says.. I've been writing a lot. And I'd really hate to be that guy who writes terrible lyrics but doesn't know it. So I drew a song out of a hat. Here goes.

Took my soul for a walk
I brought my dog and I brought my girl
I want to talk baby, I want to know
I want to talk, when we're alone

But not right now
I've got things to do
(I know you'll wait for me)

Took a walk with myself
We had a chat, we talked alone
I never knew I was so interesting
Or that you'd, well, find out

But not right now
I've got things to do
(I know you'll wait for me)

---------------------------------------------
Well? Should I become a chartered accountant?
In have a recording, too, if anyone wants it. It's just voice and acoustic guitar and uber lo-fi, though.

[Jubella]

Simple lyrics, but great. I like the idea of the song too. I'd like to hear it!

[Imzachbrown]

[QUOTE=markxander]As the thread title says.. I've been writing a lot. And I'd really to be that guy who writes terrible lyrics but doesn't know it. So I drew a song out of a hat. Here goes.

Took my soul for a walk
I brought my dog and I brought my
I want to talk baby, I want to know
I want to talk, when we're alone

But not right now
I've got things to do
(I know you'll wait for me)

Took a walk with myself
We had a chat, we talked alone
I never knew I was so interesting
Or that you'd, well, find out

But not right now
I've got things to do
(I know you'll wait for me)
QUOTE]
Overall:You should really work on those verses, it's like there to simply; but the chorus isn't all that great either. Those verses are a bit cliche and not written very well. Also try wroking on your flow; you might want to make this longer to get the message out in a better way. But don't get discouraged by me saying this just work on metaphors, avoiding cliches, imagery, and all that good stuff and you will just alot better. Check out the tread by ATC about writing there's good stuff in there.
Score: 50%

[markxander]

http://s46.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1C28J08PMS7L63LDOP9XVGVVMP

^ Uploaded it.

In retrospect, I look at the lyrics and they're pretty silly/bad. But I really think they fit the song/the song fits them, which is probably how they're like that I guess.