Different

[CheapAss]

Learning the meaning of life for fourteen years
Been through pain and pleasure with tears
Walking on the flat land since I was four
I dont want to be the same guy like before


I aint taking this anymore
I just want to open up a new door
I aint faking this **** again
And giving up everything I've gained


As I think about the life Im going to have
Is it the real me whos gonna laugh
As I start to wonder all these **** Ive done
I knew everything has just begun


I aint going to be considerate
I dont want to be well-mannered
I want to do something different
Something that will be new and exhilarant

I wanna seek for the real joy
The joy that 'll make me
Want to be different from the guy I used to be ..

[MidnightHysteria]

Oh boy...
Learning the meaning of life for fourteen years
Been through pain and pleasure with tears
Walking on the flat land since I was four
I dont want to be the same guy like before

I'm going to have to go through this line by line. In the first line, you start by establishing yourself as a wanderer, one who is experienced, and that's fine, but you ruin it by saying that's only been you for fourteen years, making it impossible to ignore that this song is in the mindframe of a 14-year-old. The majority of people on this earth are more than fourteen, and will not be as impressed by this number as you are, regardless of the tribulations you may have had in that short time. It might be better to be ambiguous and change the last 2 words to "years and years" or something like that.

The second line seems to be in there solely for a rhyme, and not really to add much substance to the piece. In general, I don't like that. The third line also upsets me a bit. If I'm not mistaken, most people can walk well before they turn three years old, so you're giving the reader the impression that you're developmentally challenged, or a slow learner. Is this the message you want?

The fourth line is completely unrelated to anything else in the stanza, so I'm certain that it's only in there for the rhyme. As before, this is frowned upon. However, I do commend you for trying to have a transition into the message of the rest of the piece. I recommend scrapping three lines and keeping only the first or fourth, and making the rest of the stanza about the same thing as the line you keep. For example, talking about what other people do that you don't want to also do would be good, or talking about some of the agonies you've had to endure in your short time learning the meaning of life.

I aint taking this anymore
I just want to open up a new door
I aint faking this **** again
And giving up everything I've gained
Very straightforward. It quite clearly expresses what you want to say, but it doesn't provide any figurative language or imagery or anything to draw the reader/listener in. Also, the swear weakens the piece because it says that you can't think of a more precise word. As a matter of fact, the comments I just gave can also be applied to the remainder of the piece.

As a whole, I think it still needs a lot of work, but it has potential to have potential. 3¾/10.