cover letter advice

[Original-Kris05]

Our band is working on a demo, were including a cover letter plus pictures of us. Here is the text- feel free to give me some pointers

The Dead Heads

Kristafon Heath
Woodleigh Hall
Ewood Lane
Todmorden
Lancashire
OL14 7DF

29 October 2005

A&R Name and address

We formed when bassist, vocalist and songwriter Kristafon Heath joined the band Shotgun Atheists; comprised of keyboardist Aaron Baxter, guitarist Mike Longbottom and drummer Eddy Walker.
We have created an inventive keyboard/guitar based Indie rock sound which is unique yet accessible. These three tracks are our favourite songs from our extensive catalogue, we hope you enjoy them.

Yours Sincerely,
The Dead Heads

Tel: 01706 814664
Email: kristafonheath@hotmail.com

[Trigger_003]

While you don't really want to get onto a kind of bibliography of the band, you might want to consider including things like influences and career milestones.
Have you been gigging? Have they been sell out shows? Sold any EP's, etc. before? Other promotion stuff like that to show that you have been working hard. Because, as they're using you as a form of income, they're going to want someone that actually works for them.

But more importantly, say why you're targeting this particular company as the ones to get your music. Of course, don't make it obvious suck-up material, but throwing in a few compliments and "we've heard that you're reliable, dynamic, etc."s don't hurt as long as they're done well.

[Merkaba]

what trigger said, and dont write it from the first person point of view.

[something vague]

I'd tell you to change your band name, but I guess that's a matter of personal opinion.

[Original-Kris05]

I'd tell you to change your band name, but I guess that's a matter of personal opinion.

oh come on its pretty original, even if it does begin with "the"

[KKKKKocaine]

what trigger said, and dont write it from the first person point of view.

Yeah, the third person will make it sound more professional as it'll sound like it's been written by someone who isn't a member of the band.

Also I'd save alot of what you say in the letter for the presskit.
Whilst I'm not an A&R man I know if I read that paragraph in a cover letter and I was very busy, I'd be likely to throw it away because it doesn't really get to the point.
You need to shorten it down, leave the history for the presskit. Say you're 'The Dead Heads', drop a note about how long you've been playing, then tell them it's your demo, x amount of tracks. Hope you enjoy it, contact details can be found on this letter, on the presskit and on the cd itself. Thankyou for your time.

Otherwise at the moment you seem to be going on for a bit before getting to the point.
So I'd put the history of how the band was formed for the presskit.
The cover letter just needs to be simple and to the point.
But good work plastering your contact details everywhere, don't forget to put them on every other document you enclose, encluding the actual cd itself.

[Merkaba]

Right on kocaine.
have contact info on the cd. You never know where it might end up.

And dont make it sound like a demo you did. Dont say blah blah is working on a demo. Say something like..."After gaining local notoriaty Dead Head has decided to record the music that has gotten much praise on the local/indi scene...blah blah." Keep it short and sweet but professional with a sense of independence, not needy desperation.