Sihouettes

[islamicbob5342]

Silhouettes

silhouettes of demons play
before my eyes and through my brain
when the smoke clears no one’s to blame
only the fool who made a fool’s mistake

i’d love to hide but your innocent eyes
illuminate the darkest night
i cannot run, I cannot lie
so lock me up, don’t bother with my rights

‘cus I can’t go on
and it’s not okay

i think I’ve seen this show, she leaves him all alone
and dooms him to his unfortunate role
yes, fortune comes and fortune goes
and leaves you tired, another tortured soul

because I can’t go on
and it’s not okay
and I’ll make it up
if we make it through today

so much for my safe place
so much for my safe place
let’s schedule one more night, we’ll wait for the sunrise
i’ll motion to the backseat, look into your eyes
i’ll tell you everything is gonna stay this way
maybe you won’t notice I’m lying
and when the cigarette rests in-between your lips
you’ll know I never smoked but I’m a drug addict
i’m just a kurt cobain, another cocaine kid
i get my high off nights like this
so, so much for my safe place
yeah, so much for my safe place

‘cus I can’t go on
(i hear you calling me a jerk)
and it’s not okay
(before this is over I’ll hear worse)
and I’ll make it up
(just please don’t tell me it’s my loss)
if we make it through today
(please don’t disappear behind your door)
‘cus I can’t go on
(i hear you calling me a jerk)
and it can’t stay this way
(we both know that I deserve worse)
and I’ll make it right for you and I
(just please don’t tell me it’s my loss)
if you and I make it through today
(please don’t disappear behind your door)

[slack]

While there isn't much in terms of imagery, and the phrasing doesn't exactly knock my socks off, it's not horridly bad either. I am biased, though: the word soul has an adverse effect on me due to years of reading some truly horrid stuff. So, I'd say work on bringing more specific, and unique imagery to the table next time. It'll help immensely.

[islamicbob5342]

Thanks for the advice. Anybody else?

[xKONRADx]

I totally can imagine this song. It isnt deathly compelling, but being able to imagine it as a literal song is something rare on the internet looking at just typed words. The lyrics were solid and the structure was good. Great song.