Chrysanthemum: A trilogy in Tanka

[ATC]

I was experimenting with Japanese poetry and music and ended up writing three Tankas and setting them to creepy electronic music. The numbers are to denote movements and to conform to the poetic style.

1

She is afraid of
her surname capitalized
sashimi tickled till pink
but mostly, her uterus
the steady undoing flesh.

2

These must surely pass for blinds
where he comes from, the
torch honeysuckle.
Entire nations are born and
once sullen, drip down plastic.

3

Hikoku, the queen
has spoken first. The vowels,
sweet betrothed, bile;
The survivors must float by
within amniotic tides.

[emo=elmow/otheL]

Hmm...That's pretty neat man. I'm not gonna try to grade it cause Ive never read Tanka before, but suffice to say that I really like it. Sounds very original. What is the form of a Tanka anyway?

[ATC]

Tanka is a form of Japanese court poetry with a syllable count 5,7,5,7,7. It's new to me as well. My assignment this week was to write in form and I picked this.

If you're looking to know the subject matter of the poem, it involves the Japanese creation myth where the two first dieties, when they first mated, had two kids that were born imperfect because the woman spoke first instead of the man. This myth, I;ve transposed it onto the present Princess Masako and her inability to conceive a male child. I likey obscure topics.

None of this is necessary to read it, of course. Its just another poem on birth and motherhood if you ignore the backstory.

[ATC]

*bump*

[TojesDolan]

Hey ATC. I saw this a while ago but I didn't get around it because I'm too stupid and I can't really judge what I don't know. :(

But I'm redeeming myself and I'm checking most first page and soem second I like, but all page 1 is going down today.

Excuse me, but This is too advanced for me. Not that I didn't get it(particularly after your sexy explanation there) But the first one with the sashimi thing makes me nervous. The rest is amazing, really brilliant in my opinion. The first one isn't particularly an opener that attracts attention. It deviated mine, and I feel ad about it, but... what the **** uterus and food don't usually go together!!

Sorry about that, I'm not into japanese writing. It's too ****ing strange, in my opinion.

Again, I can't really judge this as I found the first thing upsetting and overly strange. :(