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TojesDolan
10-23-2005, 04:57 PM
Hello, fellow songwriters, poets and lyricists. I'm TojesDolan, your fellow writer, nice critic of your work and evil dude that has nothing better to do at the moment (Maybe that expo I have to do for lit about baroque, but not now) and that wants to follow the later trend of making threads to make you feel like you are inexpert and what not.

This threads will be known as:

Tojesdolan's Incredible Threads for The Inexpert's Education

And from now on, they will be known as: "TITTIE". That wasn't an intended pun guys... really. My first subject of concern has got to be what I've read a lot lately, and that bugs me big time and keeps me from writing any form of critique:

THE CLICHÉS

But first of all, let's understand what a cliché is:

According to dictionary.com, a cliché is the following...


1. A trite or overused expression or idea: “Even while the phrase was degenerating to cliché in ordinary public use... scholars were giving it increasing attention” (Anthony Brandt).
2. A person or character whose behavior is predictable or superficial: “There is a young explorer... who turns out not to be quite the cliche expected” (John Crowley).

This word derives from the French term, past participle of clicher, which means to stereotype (imitative of the sound made when the matrix is dropped into molten metal to make a stereotype plate).

Anyhow, that's the definition. Why does it bug me as a songwriter, and most of all, as a critic of your work? First of all, considering the definition provided, it's an overused expression or idea. Therefore, I encounter myself over, and over, and over, and over again with the same stuff again, and again until I think "screw all I don't want to crit again boo-hoo". Second of all, if something has been said before, a million thousand times better than the person who makes the cliché...What makes you think you'll top it? It's pretty dumb to think so.

After the introduction, I must start with some of the aspects of cliché I consider are the worst, and then some sexy tips for you to follow. Up to this point, I think most of you are bored and don't give a crap about this document, so here you go. A puppy for your diversion.

http://red-light-house.com/images/cute_puppy.jpg

Ahead with the clichés.

1/2. One-liners that are clichés

THIS IS SEMI-INTRODUCTORY.
This ones seem to be one of the things I seemed to skip while I was thinking about clichés, and are, as seen by other members, one of the biggest flaws in what people write. I can't really recall any new songs I've read that are particularly clichéd, or lines that really destroy my nerves, but just for the sakes of examples, let's revise the one liners.

P.S. On second thought, I'll put the major one liner clichés on each genre. It'll seem easier, I guess. :)

1. Love letters

Yes. Love letters. First the love, then comes marriage. you know how it works. The best inspiration come from the female figure (or male sometimes, but that's not my business) so why not make a monument to it!

I have a few againsts that.

first of all, whoever you are, no matter who you are, you started writing lyrics of love. It's the quintessential subject of them all. Everyone relates poetry with love. People who dislike poets say that poets are love-lovers fags. SO, why would someone write something about something that has been written since the discovery of the other self!. Yes. Everyone has done it, and everyone do it among these lines:


Verse1:
My dear valentine,
i love you a lot, so lot,
i cant live without you
because i love you
and you are a girl

(crazy solo)

Verse2:
yeah you hurt me
and i love you
because you sexy
and you have big jugs


That's pretty much the idea. If you write like that, or something like that, stop it! It hurts a lot reading something so predictable and boring!

Example of clichés you may want to avoid

I love you like no other And stuff of the kind won't startle anyone. Try to capture what you feel for your significant other in ways that haven't been done before, even if that is an attack to good customs and the moral of the reader. Remember, A shocker is always better than a rocker. ;)

Dumbed-down metpahors Like "ur beutiful leik a flower" or "ur green eyes are like shiny emeralds". Those aren't impressive anymore. Get creative, people! Look at nature, at history, mythology. Anything is good when it comes to inspiration.

*More to come*

Personal Suggestion on the subject

If you'll write about love, write about something not related to the love itself. Walk around the bushes, make a game or words about how you love the girl, DON'T MENTION THE WORD LOVE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and most importantly, make it significant for yourself, but enough well written so everyone can relate. It's not an easy task, but who said writing was? :)


2. Emo

Excuse me Burt, I know how much you hate the use of the term, but it's something that has to be brought up, and therefore, try to avoid it's usage (It'll be used as soon as this thread dies out, so whatever).

The emo-hatred, pseudoemo-songwriting has had a lot of hype lately. I notice it down here, as I see some song that are supposed to be "emotional" or something, and they turn up being rather dumb and generic. They always revolt around sliting wrists, punches, being sad... I don't know. Rather stupid stuff around that line, in order to try to make themselves look like they are cool. Well. You're not if you've tried it. It's rather stupid and immature to do that.

I can't really help you a lot in this subject, as I hardly know any emo-hardcore-etc. bands, I know a few, but lyrics are not my strong point there. You can contact Burt (Subtledagger) for more information on the subject, so you don't make a fool of yourself so quickly.

Example of clichés you may want to avoid

Slitting wrists is way to passé. DOn't even attempt it, that will just show ignorance on your side, and people will, at most, think you're just a follower. Set trends, don't go along with them.

*more to come*

3. Politics

Politics. Yes. Ever since System of a Down and Rage against the machine and some others (I mention the most mainstream, don't start bothering) made their political songs, everyone feels opiniated and that they can say whatever they want to, and sound cool and say "yeah **** Bush". Well, that's not the case in here. Most attempts are quite... wait give me a break so I can turn of the fan... done. Yes, most attempts are pretty lame, mostly because the opinions are one-sided and the facts and what not that they use are misinformed or pretty lacking most of the times. It's not supposed to be something strictly against the government, it just happens to be a tendency to go against eveything and everyone with absolutely no direction.

The thing that mostly bugs me is the fact that the "originality" factor of these political songs goes down the drain because everyone feels like writing about the "hype" subject. When it was Bush, everyone said Bush was (still is) an idiot, or something around that line.

Example of clichés you may want to avoid
Trend subjects Don't go with what's trendy. If you think you are knowledgable of the subject. go ahead, but usually they are flunks.

Poor people, 3rd world Don't attempt going B.Y.O.B. They tried it, and it wasn't good lyrically. At all. Poor people are poor because either a) they are unlucky or b)they are too lazy. Don't even get there if you're not a third-worldist yourself. Or a fine black gentleman. That lives in the Rainforest.

Dictators and nazis unless you lived in the Reich, or you have direct communication with the actual U.S. government, do 't get your hands in there. These themes usually end up in useless whining towards the other two subjects.

*more to come soon*

Personal Suggestion on the subject

Don't go for the subjects that are modern. Try to input always your personal opinion (NOT WHAT YOU ARE TOLD) on your song, and always be yourself. Don't pretend to know what you don't even comprehend, just make statements on things you know for sure, and document yourself. I cannot stress this enough, it's sad to see song that make stupid rants about facts given by television or any form of media and don't have the bases, or maybe they do, but people don't care and rant along the line.

TojesDolan
10-23-2005, 04:57 PM
4. Boy hates girl
The counterpart of the first one. It's the end of the road, and you hate your girl. What are you going to do about it? A thread, of course. A THREAD HERE ON S&L ABOUT YOURSELF WHINING ABOUT IT. I have nothing against these songs, I personally prefer a good Petrarch-based poem (An italian poet whose school was based on the impossible love, google it) than 300 bad rants about how many stars you will bring from the sky for your girl.

But why are these cliché? Because you always want to either a)hurt the girl or b)that her body burns and blazes in the flames of inferno. That's the rule for the I-hate-the-girl. Anyhow, there are ways to confront that. Reading those same lines over and over and over again...


I tear my heart open,
I aw myself shut,
my weakness is that I care too much,
the scars remind us that the past is real,
I tear my heart open, just to feel.

And you took my heart and you ripped it
I'm so engry
I feel like murdering u
And u'll soffer a lot

(34 minutes drum solo)


No. That's not alright, is it?

Example of clichés you may want to avoid

You broke my heart and things alike, they are just dumb. Hearts don't break, you silly willy. At most, your heart stops pumping as much blood, your blood pressure fails miserably and your overall system gets upset. Work in something more physiological than egocentrical. That should do.

*more to come*

Personal Suggestion on the subject

If you're upset, don't just focus on your hatred. Focus on the good times, the new gals, the fishes in the water, Jesus, That flower that you shared, that time that she released the hand brake and you rolled down the hill and you were bruised... Try not to make your hatred the center of attention, use it as a tool.

5. Metal songs
Well. Most people think that metal is all about being angry. I suppose it's not. There's been a trend lately of making two notations: Mikael Akerfeldt's growl and regular singing, with it's respective really "aggresive" lyrics and "calm" lyrics. One piece of advice... He already does that. You won't achieve anything if you copy his style. Probably you'll be called a fake piece of scum, that plagiarizes other's style, but oh well.

On the metal lyrics themselves, I find myself reading pseudo-violent songs, or songs that are a psycholigist dream job:


Sheds of my memory in her dress,
tainted in red blood,
crimson knife driven thorough ger herat
I eatr her insides,
make a soup of her brain,
I chop my arm and bite my nails.

(sync'd up powerful solo with a lot of emotion)


Around that line, among with a list of thesaurus source words that are just plain wrong and are just not enjoyable.

Example of clichés you may want to avoid

Death metal lyrics that are violent Cannibal corpse do it for fun. Some do it pretty seriously. Avoid making something too true. It can be damaging for your own.

Personal Suggestion on the subject

Metal songs, or any kind of song, should have a well-defined context. Try to define your own style on the way you write, the way you tell your stories, they way you engage your reader to understand you. Don't try to copy others, and most importantly, always try to keep your writing colse to your heart and soul, as those are the only ones that define each writer with himself/herself.

Even more focused on metal songs, I guess my suggestion has got to be... I don't know, it depends a lot on what kind of music you dig, or sub-genre you like. Contact me through this thread so we can talk about this, I suppose.

6. Punk songs
Punk. The most fun genre to play. Right? But writing and reading punk songs in this place becomes a real bitch when I confront one of the main sources of punk lyrics and pretty much all of what they mean...

WIT

The factor that defines whether you are a good punk songs writer or not. This has a lot to do with your personality as well, you cannot be Nixon and write punk songs. It's just not in your blood. The major problem while writing has got to be the wit. Ever heard Dead Kennedy's "Stealing people's mail"? That's the quintessential punk song for any writer. It's really fun, really fast, and you feel like listening to it once and again. That's what you should aim for. The clichés I found in punk songs lately have got to be the Simple-Plan syndrome, where the attitude comes before any other form of substance, making the song lame and cliché, falling in the other categories of cliché in some form.

Personal Suggestion on the subject

Have fun. That's it. :) Don't write what you think might be funny. Write something that makes you laugh, that cracks you up, and maybe, just maybe, you'll make a connection with someone else.

7. Notations on the songs
The final aspect on songwriting, and this particular forum, are the notations on the song. I find a lot of songs that have something like this:



(Verse 1)

bla bla bla
bla bla blabla bla bla
bla bla bla (you hve 2 sing it really high)
bla bla bla


(Verse 3)

bla bla blabla bla bla
bla bla blabla bla bla(akerfelt growl)
bla bla bla

(guitar solo)
(drum solo)

yeah yeah yeah
woooooooooooo

screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaammmmmmmm!!!!!



There's NO NEED TO MAKE THOSE NOTATIONS, PEOPLE! Those will be added when recorded! The "baby"'s "yeah"'s and all those gutural and what not sounds are meant to be heard, not read, so don'tmake notations. Not exactly a cliché, but worth mentioning.

Final comment

COMMENT #1: This text was just an out-line of clichés, when talking about subjects. It wasn't even as deep as the problem really seems to be, but I thikn I covered pretty much the greatest flaws in the overall writing of a person who hasn't been in touch with reading and what not.

So That's pretty much it. Post your comments on this. Something shall be added later.

Permanent Solution
10-23-2005, 05:02 PM
You just tore to shreds every topic I ever write about. Ouch.

TojesDolan
10-23-2005, 05:18 PM
Haha. Yeah, I write about that all the time, but I was just sort of pointing out what can be done and what not, so that everyone knows that there are better ways to write about cliché subjects, it's just a matter of turning the side of the bread so it toasts on both sides. :)

MidnightHysteria
10-23-2005, 05:36 PM
I don't think it's so much that these topics themselves should be avoided. After all, art is supposed to be expressive and those are some of the strongest emotions up there. But since they are so strong and so universal, I agree that one must BE CAREFUL with these topics. It is of utmost importance that an artist expresses himself or herself in a way that nobody else has. After all, if most of the words, phrases, and ideas you're using are taken from someone else, did you really write them? Are you really being creative, and artistic? Just keep these things in mind.

HomeCatMickey8
10-23-2005, 06:52 PM
Midnight makes a point there... It's not as much as they're writing about cliche topics (which I deffinently see your point), but their individual lines are cliche enough to make you want to break all connections with the rest of the world because they can't have their own ideas about the topics. I like a good love song, but I don't want to hear 1500 versions of Bob Dylan songs.

Dancin' Man
10-23-2005, 07:19 PM
Politics thank you. I hate them. The others can be done sometimes, but rarely.

ATC
10-23-2005, 07:29 PM
Haha, your thread title can be abbreviated to TITTIES. Sweet.

I'll read it later.

FA
10-23-2005, 10:30 PM
Originally Posted by Everyone
Verse1:
My dear valentine,
i love you a lot, so lot,
i cant live without you
because i love you
and you are a girl

(crazy solo)

Verse2:
yeah you hurt me
and i love you
because you sexy
and you have big jugs

^can i have this? :p

TojesDolan
10-23-2005, 11:04 PM
It's all yours. :)

I know that clichés are also one-liners. I'll make something about the one-liners clichés, but most of them fit inside the other clichés...

Crimsonpunk
10-25-2005, 12:09 PM
That's some fine T.I.T.T.I.E.S youv'e got there.

emo=elmow/otheL
10-25-2005, 08:27 PM
Excellent advice man. I've been struggling to avoid cliches for forever and I started getting a good idea of how, but this will defenitely boost the process. TITTIES forever!

ITRIEDVOODOOONCE
10-25-2005, 08:44 PM
nice
I enjoy your firm, yet well rounded regulations.
........chuckle.......

HomeCatMickey8
10-25-2005, 09:20 PM
When are you gonna realease the next set of T.I.T.T.I.E.S.?

You should've never pointed that out...

TojesDolan
10-25-2005, 09:49 PM
It's a cool jingle to be remembered. :)

Probably next week-ish, or maybe two, because I'm a little busy with school and preparing the anual school senior's super duper halloween bash, so I'll just probably make the redaction this week and complement it next one.

I'm thinking of a new thing to write about, something hasn't been covered already and that's both useful, inspiring, easy to write and appliable to real life.

yup. :D

something vague
11-01-2005, 02:02 PM
:smash:
Cliches.

I really enjoyed reading this, surprisingly enough.