school project song

[B A S S _ K I N G]

my enlgish teacher gave us the choice ov all these pieces of writing to do and my band and i decided to do a song
this is wat we come up with in an hour
suggestions and critz apreciated thanx
also we had to do it about horror, so we decided to do it bassed on terrorism

Intro
There’s people killing
People dieing
There’s bombers flying
And people crying
My real worlds a horror story

Verse
Welcome to the house of horror
Inside you’ll find
The ghosts of tomorra
These are my real friends
But you’ll never see them again

Pre Chorus
When will we ever get out of this nightmare
We’ve been here for years, its just not fare

Chorus
Were living in a horror story
Yeh Were living in a horror story
There’s fire and lighting
There’s guns and fighting
There’s so much pain
Yet nothing to gain
Were living in a horror story
Yeh were living in a horror story

Verse
fusty walrus! this world I wanna go back
Page me now or give me the sack
Take away the Demons
Bring back the Angels
What the hell is happening to me

Pre Chorus

Chorus

Verse
Now I can feel im coming back
Back to the real world
Im nearly there I can feel it now
But theres one more thing that I have to say

Outro
We were living in a horror story
We Were living in a horror story
There was fire and lighting
There was guns and fighting
There was so much pain
And nothing to gain
We were living in a horror story
Yeh we were living in a horror story

[anthony750]

pretty good bro





P.S im in your band

[shayne_122]

Hmmm... well

It'll pass as an english assignment... but the whole song delves on escaping from a reality that you don't want to exist, under different names, which makes for a relatively unexciting song.

In your chorus, I'm sure the repetition sounds nice, but the rhymes look forced and cliche.

A few spelling corrections here and there may score you a better mark with your english teacher.

Now, I do like some parts lol
the song structure is interesting, intro-verse-prechorus-chorus-verse-etc-outro
and the part about angels and demons being brought in is a nice bit of wordplay, as the book Angels and Demons dealt with the begginings of terrorism, with the illuminati and stuff.

[Electric Riley]

How can you possibly be passing English with spelling like that?

[FA]

what the f*ck is a fusty walrus? i've seen this like 3 times now..you'll pass the test lyrics-wise, but not with your grammar or imagery.

[MidnightHysteria]

I bet your english teacher would love some figurative language. They all do.


PS: unless I'm mistaken, fusty walrus! = fuçk

[anthony750]

what the f*ck is a fusty walrus? i've seen this like 3 times now..you'll pass the test lyrics-wise, but not with your grammar or imagery.
must be an auto change thingy on the forum, changes **** to fusty walrus

[emo=elmow/otheL]

First, I read that this was for an assignment in language. I got a similar assignment a few weeks back and so was interested. Then I read that its about terrorism and I thought OH NO! It's been done man. But then I read it, and I must say, you did redeem yourself to at least 7 out of 10. I also like that you mentioned angels as well as demons. Most people just talk about demons and forget the angels.

Oh, and don't correct the spelling. If thats how its sung, leave it in the phonetic form, and screw grammar.
Well, Im done. Heres one of mine!

http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=406651

[RollerQueen]

^^^ Wow... Don't correct the spelling? Screw the grammar? Considering this is for an English assignment, I'd at least try to fix those issues. Microsoft Word is easy to use, and it can't hurt to at least have things spelled correctly. This is coming from someone who's a year and a half away from being an English teacher, too. It doesn't matter how you sing it, really; you should still adhere to rules of grammar and spelling until you've earned your artistic license (and yes, this sounds elitist, but enough is enough, kids).

Probably the best part of this piece is that it reminded me of the movie Jacob's Ladder and the novel Angels and Demons (because of the references more than the actual plot of the book). It's not very inventive and does very little to explain the situation, relying more on reactionary tactics to rather vague circumstances. If I were you, I'd explain what's happening more elaborately than a few words strung together to rhyme. Sorry, man, but this was a chore to read.

In any case, you should fix the spelling at the very least. It'd be downright idiotic not to.

[Bradles151]

ITS PRETTY GOOD MAN

P>S im in ya band 2:wave: