My latest work

[Aus_rock_god]

This is a song called "ode to 6 strings of joy".

With a voice made of steel and a body made of wood
It lets me empty out my thoughts of maybe how I could
How I could stop this world and the evil that’s inside
And how these bastards roam the world and I’ve got nowhere left to hide

Maybe if we stop and think for a second what we’ve done
We could reverse the tide and not like what we’ve become
It started with good intentions, yes and now we have
Another chance to turn things back, before we all go mad

The power in its voice, the sounds that are my choice
The decibels don’t register when they’re screaming from my hands!

Coz I can’t stand these feelings and my bitter thoughts of dread
Please let me empty out this darkness from my head
Drifting through this silence in my uniform of black
I’ll walk out of this sick dark world with my guitar on my back

I’ll barricade my door shut and I’ll throw away the key
And stay in here, shut myself off and I’ll just be me
Coz outside it’s like I can’t be an individual
With a world full of barriers, jerks and ****ing tools

No silence that I need, no pride on which I feed
I’ll plug it in and crank it up and never go to sleep!

Coz I can’t stand these feelings and my bitter thoughts of dread
Please let me empty out this darkness from my head
Drifting through this silence in my uniform of black
I’ll walk out of this sick dark world with my guitar on my back

And I am sick and tired of bullshit dull and loud and coy
But I’ll sit hear and release my rage on 6 strings of joy
It just gives me an excuse to go and take back from them
My antidisestablishmentarianism

Coz I can’t stand these feelings and my bitter thoughts of dread
Please let me empty out this darkness from my head
Drifting through this silence in my uniform of black
I’ll walk out of this sick dark world with my guitar on my back

[TojesDolan]

I don't like to click and say nothing... So I can say that this was... kinda in the old-school pop, kinda "the world will change" or something Michael Jacksonish... I don't know. Clichéd and what not, but it has a few sparks of brightness here and there. The rhyming scheme was lame, drop it.

mmm... I've never seen you around... so my guess is that you should make crits in order to get crits, OK? I'll amke a more thorough critique if you want one, I guess.

[El Squeego]

This reminds me of "Turn the Page" by Springsteen: the idea of the musician vs. the world. It seems to lend itself to a kind of slow heavy-metal anthem. What are you going for?

Overall, I think it's above-average work. Some of the word choices seem weak to me, however. "Bullpoop" is just awful. If you're unwilling to curse, try something along the lines of "nonsense". If you call out others as "evil", why settle for the word "jerks"? You ought to use something more powerful. As earlier stated, try to mix up your rhyme scheme.

Keep up the good work, pal.

[Aus_rock_god]

This reminds me of "Turn the Page" by Springsteen: the idea of the musician vs. the world. It seems to lend itself to a kind of slow heavy-metal anthem. What are you going for?

Overall, I think it's above-average work. Some of the word choices seem weak to me, however. "Bullpoop" is just awful.

Keep up the good work, pal.

:lol:, I read that and was like "what the fu*k", then realised that the swear filter has kicked in on the forums. (fixing that up now)

You hit the mark though, this is a slow metal anthem about a musician's reasons to lock himself in his own room for hours on end playing guitar.